.The Reverse

Its the voting day tomorrow. 5th May. INI KALILAH UBAH! XD If only I could vote now. Imagine what would happen if students can vote. BN will crumble like pastries. That day when I was on my way back from tuition, I told my dad sentimentally: " Imagine your daughter voting with you in the coming 5 years." Old means Old. Haha. HAC is dawning. However, I have things on my mind. It was LKL's case. With the new scandal which I have no idea where it blasted off. The thing is, Miss Gooi knows and that means shit as the person who spread the news was Black Heart . I can't believe what she said to her. It wasn't even half true. I am not mad, but frustrated. Miss Edna knows something as well, How can both of them not compromise each other with latest gossips. -.- So, I confronted him myself. It wasn't that bloody after all. Owh, enough of the scandal. Talking about M,Gooi. I don't know why I always landed up being screw up by her. Sort of like, a student th...

OK. I HAD REALLY REALLY SETTLE IT. I can feel it, this time, I felt extremely light and happy. =D So, all this bad mood didn't originate from him, you know, it was because I hadn't been able to to my best friend what I wanted her to know, There wasn't really anything at all, and I was sure about it when I talk to it to her. I admit I was so damn afraid of it all, but I feel that I really had to tell her. I don;t think I could drain in everything what Black Heart had said, and fortunately, I didn't. It felt good, I could finally be so sure for once, and permanently too. No, seriously, I can now tell Black Heart face to face that I really did not have any stupid feelings for him, as in .. Oh well, It all took only one month to settle, and I do thought that that thing was why I was so upset, and it turned out that it wasn't. Haha! =) YOR, WHY YOU NO TELL ME AR ? haha! OK, now that that's settle, there's one more thing. HEM! OK, don't think I don...

So, I am back from HELL. Ok, well, my exam sucks as usual. Guess I will have to face all the odds when school reopens. And, yes, I really felt like HELL. I mean, I just came up with some stupid aspiration. I WANT TO HATE MY FRIEND. First, it would make me FEEL LOADS BETTER. I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING SO MUCH I WISH I COULD TURN OFF EVERYTHING INSIDE ME. Being Damon is really difficult. I don't want to anymore. Haha! SO it doesn't really make me lose a friend, but I will have an extra enemy, which means more company. I want to build up that ugly side of me. I wonder how hard will it be? Of course what I mean is something like snapping and ignoring my friend. UNTIL MY LAST DAY. I don't mean to transform it into a burden, just some distraction. I TOLD YOU I WOULD RATHER SPEND MY TIME THINKING ON HOW TO HATE YOU EVEN I HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE I NEED SERIOUS DISTRACTION. I deleted everything. The WHOLE conversation. I don't want to have anything of it meddling up my unstable...

One week of exam. WAHAHA! One more week to go. All those tough subjects, SEJ, BIO...blabla..anyway. PHYSICS WAS SHIT. REALLY SHIT. Physics, thanks for slaughtering me. Miss Edna saw me and asked how was my exam, I have to shake my head, and Tan Gim Seng said that Physics was easy. URGH, IT WAS THE WORST PHYSICS PAPER EVER. Anyway, Hmm. Ok, not much to tell about those things. He realised that I was hiding ? Was I ? I don't think I was, I was merely incompatible to the situation, after all it's the exam week too. I think Hazard sort of sorted out all the things for me. And it was totally acceptable. I knew without all the telling. It wasn't hard to interpret  you weren't hard to read. About being the CF case. OK, sincerely I thought it was just between us, but now that it's a different case, so I gladly accept it. Not because I wanted to pull out from the picture, just it makes me feel better and easier for me to ignore what I want. And the son...

When I say one, it means I want you to tell me it has always been one. I don't want to know if there's two, because to be frank, I do care about numbers a lot, as in this case. Numbers are superstitious enough. So, please say that there's only one. I remembered I said something about not making it into three, I did manage that part. So now it's for your part, I want you to have only one. So, I am definitely quitting. I don't think it's call quitting, maybe shutting down ? Though you know I already am. I did not regret over what I had done or said, so give me a break or something. XD Even though sometimes I couldn't help but smile at those stupid little things, for instance, CO.CO. Haha! =) I really had forgotten that white is considered a colour. I know it's limited, I promise you I will make it limited. It would be easier for you too. I was wondering why you said I am not blind. I couldn't figure that part out. Can I put it as I know you can...

On the Day where the LTDL thing happened, I think it was really lame. Stupid Traffic Jams. Whatever. Simple Jots as usual =D 1. I know it wasn't the truth. Why ? Because I know I don't deserve it and I don't want you to lie too =) 2. Mr Lim had said something. Choice ? Haha, I don't think there were any choices to make, yet. I had already out cast them. Just for the sake of doing it. 3. SO, you really did listen to my advice. Good for you. No persuasion needed too. As for the honey as well as goose bumps, you said you will try to reduce it. Please, Don't try. 4. I found out who Naqib really is. ==. You win. 5. Oh please, I wish I don't have to know it. =D I want to buy ToTo. I am so sorry if I appeared when you didn't want me too. Haha! 6. Of course, Ed. I told WP about the stupid thing we did, typing 10.00 to 10.30 as the clock ticks. Haha!. Thanks. Sorry, because I was using you as a distraction for the moment. You wouldn't know of course....

It's been a few days and I am back here again. It's shit, allow me to announce this great news : 11 days before Exam. WTH. The "Miao Hui" was fun last Saturday. I walked for at least 4 hours over there, completing every route there is and in order to go back to Butterworth, I had to walk to the Jetty in Penang, and take the Ferry back. I enjoyed it although it was still the same as the year before, as this year, I had a camera and took some awesome pictures with my brother, it's rare of him to even take a nice picture, and I really like the one where we were posing in front of the Dragon head. I met the Street Art Artist, thought of taking a photo with him, but it was really really to pack to even go to him. I gave up the idea instantly. I didn't see Lim Guan Eng this year too, hope to see him next year. Definitely make it there next year. I would love to go with my friends, but I am afraid that isn't possible as one of the reason is you have got to WALK...

Chinese New Year is considered over in my house. All of them went back including grandma. She followed my aunt back to KL just to stop her from worrying about her old house in Jelutung. Now, the house is finally empty again, and the TV will be back to its state  as disitar. Whatever, I don't care about the TV. It wouldn't make much difference anyway. Back to school tomorrow. T.T This is tragic. I hate school now, when I am 17. Yes, one year older close friend, you got your way. Grandma's birthday was yesterday, and I really do wish for her heath and GOOD MEMORY. Her memory is really going downhill and worse. She couldn't even remembered whose Daughter am I. Anyway. here goes the usual.. 1. I have a really really strong feeling that my friend is trying to avoid something which practically couldn't be avoided at all. I think that's ok, but really, I think they should just give her a rest or something, i can predict a sudden eruption in my friend, although I ...

I recapped. Yes, I am sorry I did. I was trying to leave it, but I didn't. It was all very easy to get over everything. Very Easy, but he still hit the real point anyway. Damn it. I don't think I mind really much because hadn't it been this way all this while? You said you're trying to protect me.Thanks, I know and I appreciate it. ( it sometimes even curb away the bad feelings. =D ) However, it won't change a thing. Never, until the time when it's simply all over and out of it. You said it was all very simple, no crosses, no chains. You said my eyes couldn't be right all the time. Let me just remind you, it's just isn't possible that all the eyes in the world are all wrong. I don't know how you know , I don't really want to know. It's all just my fault . I am sorry. I suppose it had added to your burden. I don't want it to be like this for you. I hate myself being like this to you. One more thing, you don't have to even us...

Dixon and Cindy left for Ipoh today. So it’s just left with us all, the Carnivores. Haha! I had finished Vampire Diaries Season 1. Really, are there always Werewolves when there are Vampires ?  Yeah, Damon loved Katherine, and I think he knows he had fallen for Elena. Whatever, why does Stefan have to be so easily influenced and gets jealous ? == The other's are leaving tomorrow, left with Pin's. Haha. The fun will soon be over.  I found a picture. One that I had almost forgotten. It was,  I don’t know how to say, weird because we were standing together, not even a war erupted when I thought back.  I wonder how had it happen so smoothly. You won’t know which picture anyway, you don’t have to worry, I was just reminiscing.  It wouldn't even matter =)

11 th FEB 2013 Chor Ngee =) I went back to Balik Pulau. I got double Ang Paus as New Year always reminded them of my Birthday. =)  I wore something like a frock in the form of a skirt, and a white T-shirt. It was all very plain today and I love it. Kelwin was obsessed with my accessories, my necklace, my bracelet, anklet from Taiwan, my Henna Art XD He kept touching it , I would have slapped him if he wasn’t my best cousin from my maternal side. Ed just told me that we had around 75 text messages, which was quite surprising as I didn’t think it was that much. Speaking of texting, Hell Kaiser is getting on my nerves, He is to me what Vetagen is to me now. He do better stop before I really hate him. After dinner, I had a fun time with my cousins, playing fire crackers and the sizzling one plus Dinosaur Eggs  ( They even threw it on top and we had to run for our lives , they even put it in the exhaust pipe of my father’s old car. ==) No Pop-Pop of course. I don’t c...

10th FEB 2013 Chor Yee =) I changed into the a simple Red T-shirt and white shorts. All of my relatives reached my house for the new year, except for one in Switzerland and One in New Zealand.   My birthday present from my dad reached today. HENNA , mine cost RM 25. I took a picture of it too =D My friend commented on my very-casual attire on New Year. I don’t have dresses, sorry, and He’s annoyed by the fact that I don’t have one. I don’t really wear dresses, haha! Though I would have love too. I'm halfway through Season 1 of Vampire Diaries. Damon is really pitiful. Which in such ways that  Damon is really more realistic, reliable, stable. Stefan is just dead-good-puppy-guy, which is why I couldn't really feel any empathy on him. I can’t help it, Vampire Diaries is sort of COOL. XD I see you in Damon Salvatore ,my friend. Haha! I really think I was good in understanding you ,quite well as in this case. It was a permit so that people won’t g...

It was my birthday, maybe half an hour ago. We cheered with Milk on the 12 midnight yesterday and I receive presents and wishes from many, facebook messages, chat messages, texts, calls, live, which I got earlier.  Ed , thanks for all the 4 wishes and your attempt on keeping awake up till 12 just to be the first one to wish me. I appreciated it. MG, YiJo,IQ 200 , I love all your presents, especially the one with Manuel Bandeira's litle poem, which I am obsessed with as always. Thanks. WP,FISH, who gave me live wishes. Vetagen, thanks for being appropriately nice and the wish, you're the only one that call anyway. Thanks=) CF, I don't blame you for not doing so, because I understand what trouble would it bring to you, but thanks for remembering to text me and wish me. it's important to me that you haven't forgotten. Well, I was happy with everything, there's just only one thing that bothers me though : OK, I decided, It's not really a bid ...

My cousins are here, they reached yesterday. They all seem grown up, i haven;t seen them for months, two of them,anyway, tomorrow's my special day, but there are a few things I want to highlight to myself. 1. Many people wished me before today. Wen Hui, IQ 200, Diniesh. Haha. Today, with WP's and Mei Ggi's. Mei Ggi and IQ 200 gave me presents and I like them very much. Thanks so much =) 2. Hazard decided to give me a treat too. Which when I saw that he was thinking of ways not how to do it in public, I just told him not to waste his time and A wish would be good Enough. It hurts me to see him having to do everything so discretely and you know how i hate being somebody's burden. 3. I made it today. I didn;t on my chat yet, and I didn't speak about anything that's out of topic today. Good. 4. CK was weird, I wore a dress last week to class, and today he asked : " Why didn't you where that dress? you look better in that ." LOL. and Paca...

Yes. It really does. It's so damn. When it happen, something shuts off inside me. When I'm choking, why are you even OK ?

I have been dreaming quite alot lately. This time, there were 2 dreams. I don't really know the reason behind it.  Why are we even couple =.= ? And Hazard's a badminton player, BADMINTON, imagine that. I don't know if he really is in real life, haha. I think he was trying to tell me that he won the game because he had used his love to win the game. I wasn't just assuming, it really was his message that he sent to me in my dream. The other one was, we were on the run, of course separately, and Kar Keat was in that dream too, but his parents were all very scary which I have no idea why my dream had portrayed them as WANTED. Anyway, it's still the dream that always pull me back into the water when I started to lift my head out of the water. Seriously, I think it didn't hurt much any more, I mean if I think I wasn't, though I can still feel it, but Pacak still makes me smile as always, =) and I realise that LKL was a real good comedian, it;s good when his ...

It's the magical month of every year. Things always happen to me in February, if I read back my posts. Haha. Well well, Chinese New Year is on it's way, I can't wait for it, but it means I am getting one year older very soon. =) Old. Yesterday was my Lunar Birthday, I had forgotten, so had mum. My parents quarrel again, whatever. I just hope they fix it up by CNY. and Guess what, I missed out sitting with Pacak today at Usaha Jaya. WTH. If only I didn't switch my place or what, he do be sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME. ARGH!!! Nevertheless, like they said, he's become rounder, so his side looks are getting really good looking. XDXD PS : I really think that sometimes Pacak was just trying to have fun mesmerizing girls like me with his smile.        I think he knows that I admire him. Haha! Whatever. I have done my oral scripts. Finally. All those editing and all freaked my eyes out. Haha. I'm just a little worried about my oral, together with Intan as m...

Be like the flowing river, Silent in the night. Be not afraid of the dark. If there are stars in the sky, reflect them back. If there are clouds in the sky,  Remember, clouds, like the river, are water, So, gladly reflect them too, In your own tranquil depths.                          Manuel Bandeira Sort of What I really did, when I saw what I never wanted to see. Just, no hat. Dear close friend,  I really haven't been in the least unhappy about you sharing your problems with me, but a habit has started to grow in me. I just hope you know and understand that I wasn't avoiding you. I tend to ignore everything that's happening. I hate lazing there and doing nothing to stop all that ridiculous pain growing inside me. I would rather do loads and loads of things, busy my mind with unnecessary stuff, blur you away from my tracks of attention, mute everything that brings my m...

Guess what ? I had 4 dreams . 1. It was about my status in fb about not making into 3. Somebody had managed to decipher it and hit it straight to my core. Whatever. It doesn't make much difference to him anyway. Not sensitive enough as it would normally be. 2. Quite adventurous. It was the end of the world when my family was at the shopping mall. The whole thing, I guess it was earth ( soil ) that dropped onto the roof and covered the world outside. I couldn't reach my mum and my brother. Before the tragic, I met JJ and she said she wanted to grab some chocolate before the  end of the world arrive. Apparently, she was just in time. -.- Just imagine, Chocolates. While running, I ran past my dad and gave him a fly kiss. It was weird, why wasn't I running for him ? Things went worst when the whole place was out of water. People started to dig the toilets and using their filtering skills. I remembered I suggested Fractional distillation or something. I remembered Encik Za...