.The Reverse

You, by the light Is the greatest find In a world full of wrong You're the thing that's right Finally made it through the lonely To the other side You set it again, my heart's in motion Every word feels like a shooting star I'm at the edge of my emotions Watching the shadows burning in the dark And I'm in love And I'm terrified For the first time and the last time In my only life And this could be good It's already better than that And nothing's worse Than knowing you're holding back I could be all that you need If you let me try You set it again, my heart's in motion Every word feels like a shooting star I'm at the edge of my emotions Watching the shadows burning in the dark And I'm in love And I'm terrified For the first time and the last time In my only… I only said it 'cause I mean it I only mean 'cause it's true So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming 'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I...

I finished a novel…The Prisoner of Zenda. I didn't plan to read it, to be truthful, I read it accidentally because I don't know it's the novel for Penang state. ╭(╯^╰)╮. It's a love story, that's why I read it till the end without bothering to check it. Rudolf and Flavia always… of course, Flavia never love the King of Ruritania, she fell in love with Rudolf without knowing he is not the real king, but a fake king who was committed to replace The Real King temporarily. But there is one part that I don't understand about Rudolf, why he doesn't want to beg her to marry him if they were both madly in love, instead he left Flavia in order to fulfill her wish about ruling the country. Was it because he cannot bear the fact that he is nothing but an English Man? And why couldn't he visit Flavia once a year? He didn't even wanted to visit Stresaul just to even meet her. I just don't get it… As a result of my debate title, I ended up reading about Romeo ...

My same old day where I always dream about him no matter where I am. This time I am at home thinking about him. The SPM had already started and I guess the time had really come. I mean...Yeah… SPM is the deadline. As before, the temper came. I was obviously in a bad mood when I was discussing my debate. I was like ordering my members to obey and finish the work. It turned out ok. The script was done, the questions were quite ok. Overall, it is still done before the deadline. =) But I have something on mind; I have to compromise with him. I sent him a good luck at about 1 in the afternoon, I guessed he just finished his first BM paper, I was surprised to find that he replied me after 12 seconds. That was really fast, faster than before. Normally I would dread about it, doing something else to distract me from the awful waiting and loneliness . Before that, I would have started thinking that he doesn't care about me anymore, and after that I would regretted for thinking about this a...

Utcut-ing.... I am very grateful to Xiu-2 who brought up this word. The best ever word to describe a feeling that i don't even know how to explain, a word that shows how desperate and frustrating i am, a word that reveals how much i miss him, a word that had convinced myself that i still have hope, a word that conceals the deepest emotion i ever hold in myself for him... What a day it was, having to bear all those missing and frustrating. Missing was always my choice of word when it has to be about him, not even the word love made it to the list. I mean love is powerful, but missing is kind of mysterious, it holds some kind of charm, a kind off word that gives me hope. Hope. I am always hopping, in fact, i never stop hoping. I was wondering why i needed hope so badly, could it be possible that one day, i will no longer need hope to carry on what is left behind by him for me? Even hoping for his messages had become a daily habit, even when it means i have to be grounded by my paren...

I just wanted to say i don't feel like doing anything at the moment except feeding my blog with all kinds of emotions i had been carrying all day... First of all...i certainly miss him alot. Its like a thousand miles away from his house...but to me it's worst..i just can;t understand the feeling i am having for him. Having the presence of utcut-ness was likely, and the snapping came as usual eventhough i did promise to myself not to. I avoided the sulking part, but that did not stop me from feeling unbearable. I tried not to cry because i know tears won;t change anything . i know he is still out there...but i just need to see him. I need to see him now... But everything from me for him is always a no, except missing him . I wanted him with me forever...its a no. I wanted to see him...it's a no. I wanted to speak to him in person...it's a no yet again. i thought i would be able to pull myself together today ( only today...) but NO! Mum suddenly brought up the ...

My first Saturday of my holidays. The first thing i did when i was awake was to check my phone. =( ... "ok....nt yet..maybe it's later..." i was sort of dissapointed..i do thought he will give me a message or a call to wish me luck...but i haven't got it. I was so use to him bidding me a "wish you luck" before i have to attend any competition or occasion...i felt like i was about to shout when i didn't get a thing. By 8.30...still no sign..instead the saukerl came..ok...he wished me luck too..but i don;t want his...i wanted HIS ... The spell didn't break . It's 9.00..URGH!! frustrating!~why can't i even get to see his text. It's bad enough to not being able to talk to him...not to see him..worst...not to be able to see him to cure my "me missing him".it was so frustrating that i was almost sure that the hole i was fretting about was going to form ...the hole that won't heal if it forms... 12.30..i was almost planning to snap...

Here I am~~spilling out my secrets ... i relly miss him alot...even one day makes a difference...i do got my chance of talking to him last Tuesday...and i was wondering...singing always seem to be the last topic before his phone was out of credit...i can't believe that a person likes him like singing so much... he texted me today...finally....I MISS YOU!!! oh well, you do know how many days ..its 4 days...hmm...thats weird...normally it took you a week to top up...and the truth was finally reveal when u say...u BORROWED... i was wondering if your absence will break me...if a hole will form in me...i wanted you badly...yet i can;t seem to have you..i have no right.You are the only thing that has ever make me fall over...i can;t stop thinking about you...once you stop finding me...i will always be restless...i admit i am too selfish to let you go... i can't believe i actually accepted you...i never regretted the choice...i met you last year...can't believe it myself when i do...