.The Reverse

Thanks to Everything, I know what to do. It feels great, much much better to even hide it =) Love you all. PS : I don't think I will be able to make it in time, anyway.. To my dearest toothbrush, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! BE HAPPY AS HAPPY FOREVER!! Love you. Yours Sincerely, Toothpaste.

Becoming more and more foolish to even think about it. I can't help thinking that way. THAT WAY. OK, how much have I change? How much did he change? No, that doesn't matter, he doesn't matter. No, the problem should be me. ME. REALLY, WHAT AM I THINKING??!! Even Tumblr shows me my fate. I can't be that silly to even think about the possibility of it. I really should have the mind set. HE REALLY IS TOYING YOUR FEELINGS. Crap. Anyway, WALLS, invisible solid walls that I do build up within me for the last 1 month ? I can't just break it down as I please, it builds up as it please. To share it makes it worst. I don't want complicated things to mushroom. I don't need any misunderstandings within my friends, not even misinterpretation between him. Even those feelings that I shouldn't even have, not just any feelings, Argh.(Great, now I am back to that old girl again.) No, I should not be having it, currently. I know really well that this is  my weaknes...

I don't know what am I up to these days. These few weeks. I have been hiding all the time. Somebody knows what is really happening to me. I didn't really explain much to her.It's abit complicated, but she understands.So, i take it for granted that she's my adviser, asking me slow down, don't panic. There were so many predictions to make, but some didn't really turn out to be true. I wonder if i dwelled on it too much. I have tried my best to force myself out of that impossible dream, impossible outcome. It won't happen. but, what if it does? no way, just snap out of it. It doesn't belong to you.

I got cane again because i didn't drink enough H2O. I did try to finish it, but i seldom remember i have a bottle of water. Why don't you just let me be gone for good.

I have decided to get back to Blogger now that I am sort of -want-to-write-in-a-blog-person-for the moment. Busy school life , but gossips always made it better, especially those fat and juicy ones. I did try my best not to poke in around too much, just in case I am unwanted. I don't wan to offend anybody. Wee. XD. Jot : I always imagine myself being a ballerina, but that's just, blurry. Haha.

I realise I am losing a grip on myself. Emotional, the same old girl like last year. I know there's really nothing to worry about. Yet, I am. I am worried about my temper. I am worried about my daily life. ( I hate volcano eruptions in 251) I wanted to be alone with somebody. I needed somebody that understands me. I longed for somebody to really talk to me about everything. I am thinking about everything way too much. Over reactive. Angkor Wat the trigger didn't even change my mood as well, though he always would have. I just felt like ignoring and snapping. I felt left out. Like I lost somebody that I was very sure that we were almost related. Like I do suddenly loss faith in somebody who believed in me, loss your trust that you have on me.I snapped at Magnesium most of the time, and regretted about it after a second. Words came out just like that, without filtration. I was suppose to sleep at 11pm everyday, well, I am still here. I don't have complete contro...

I don't know why, i kept arguing with my parents. Sometimes I really hate it. I admited whatever i could, all the wrongs and mistakes. I swear i did try my best to be a better member of the family, but all their comments were as if i was doing it unwillingly and just showing off. It;s what i get from them, and I don;t think i really have any reason to continue being the old Suzanne Yeoh of the house. I can no longer find any reason why i should try my best in this any more. They beat me up because of my crying face, but even if i were to say it was because of my braces that my mouth looked jutted out, what was the point? They would just treat it as an excuse. I am always giving excuse. Everything I did was mere acting. I did it without full commitment. Even trying to prepare a simple dinner of Maggi ended up with a fight, just because i used the wrong noodles. My explanation was ignored, unaccepted, and because it was unaccepted, I was being spanked and slapped. Yeah, It wasn...