.The Reverse

Be like the flowing river, Silent in the night. Be not afraid of the dark. If there are stars in the sky, reflect them back. If there are clouds in the sky,  Remember, clouds, like the river, are water, So, gladly reflect them too, In your own tranquil depths.                          Manuel Bandeira Sort of What I really did, when I saw what I never wanted to see. Just, no hat. Dear close friend,  I really haven't been in the least unhappy about you sharing your problems with me, but a habit has started to grow in me. I just hope you know and understand that I wasn't avoiding you. I tend to ignore everything that's happening. I hate lazing there and doing nothing to stop all that ridiculous pain growing inside me. I would rather do loads and loads of things, busy my mind with unnecessary stuff, blur you away from my tracks of attention, mute everything that brings my m...

Guess what ? I had 4 dreams . 1. It was about my status in fb about not making into 3. Somebody had managed to decipher it and hit it straight to my core. Whatever. It doesn't make much difference to him anyway. Not sensitive enough as it would normally be. 2. Quite adventurous. It was the end of the world when my family was at the shopping mall. The whole thing, I guess it was earth ( soil ) that dropped onto the roof and covered the world outside. I couldn't reach my mum and my brother. Before the tragic, I met JJ and she said she wanted to grab some chocolate before the  end of the world arrive. Apparently, she was just in time. -.- Just imagine, Chocolates. While running, I ran past my dad and gave him a fly kiss. It was weird, why wasn't I running for him ? Things went worst when the whole place was out of water. People started to dig the toilets and using their filtering skills. I remembered I suggested Fractional distillation or something. I remembered Encik Za...

By the way, I have made up my mind. 2 is 2. I shouldn't make it into 3.

23.01.13 Today is Edward's birthday. I had forgotten all about it till when I wrote an announcement for choir. The date really reminded me about him. Yeah, I never forget. At first i thought of sending him a text, but i changed my mind in the end anyway, facebook is more appropriate at this level. Today was idle. Like the reaped cane fields =D I had enjoy today. No hard feelings at all, plus the booster smile from Pacak, TWICE! XD Euphoric. Just that there are still something not fitting in. 1. Why does IQ 200 seem to always guess correctly at everything. I lied at first, but then i decided that there wasn't anything bad. If people can tell it out from the first answer, it means you no longer have to lie. 2. I had been avoiding. I feel guilty. Yeah, I lied to Hazard. As usual of course. I don't really care if he knew. It wouldn't make a difference. He has other things to mind with and settle, which I am sure is already settled. If only he che...

It's intimidating. I know. Who would have thought that I would live up till now to listen to those comments? I didn't choose for it to happen, fate it is. So, while doing my school work without really knowing what I am doing actually, I came to a certain sense that maybe that's why I couldn't resist the pull, and by putting me through it, I will gain the immunity. Sooner or later. I don't really care if people think I am really the breaker or something, (Obviously, I can't think of another word yet ). I have ended up being like this since last year, and now the only thing that I have decided is to really tell my close friend about it. It's too important that I should. Not because I know it wouldn't change his mind or just anything, but because I do not need a rupture between us. It's stupid. I know. To go on and on about this matter with him really makes him frustrated. Nothing shown on the face, but I can feel it, who asked me to be the on...

I woke up really early for the swim. I had a try on underwater swim for 25meters with one gulp of air. I did it XD ! Today's our dear Kedah Sultan's birthday. It's a school holiday and I had planned that I would sleep late yesterday. I did, not because I was obstinate to, but someone,my close friend had kept me by the screen. It didn't feel wrong or guilty to stay up late just for yesterday, as it's been an eternity since we really chat.  I mean a real chat other than some stupid schooling topics. Though most of our messages were about certain subjects and reminders here an there. There's something really funny that I realised, we often talk about weddings. I have no idea why we always ended up in such a weird topic, but both of us have our own share of views about it. Especially about the outfits.Haha. Sometimes, it would end up as a resolution for our own future wedding if we are lucky to have one with our lover. By the way, Close Friend, I am really ...

" I will never be yours, and you will never be mine; nevertheless, I can honestly say: I love you, I love you, I love you. " -Paulo Coelho, Aleph              There's one more thing that's right about what Paulo had shared : Suffering comes from desire , not from pain.