.The Reverse

Today is the first day i had never regretted for waking up at 6.30am to go to CRC for a swim. I swam 10 laps of freestyles, few breastrokes, butterfly and Backstroke. I left the pool at about 8, took my shower, came out, and saw my dad talking to one of his friends. I know that today they are having Basketball competition, by hearing the sound and so many people around the court. So i went to sit at one of the bridges at the baby pool. I was bored, so i looked back to the place where people usually sit for eating western food at the cafe, i saw somebody wearing a black shirt, he seems familiar, but he was too far for me to be sure. So i ignore him and it's time to go. But i told my dad i wanted to talk to my friends after seeing Ping2 and Mei Ggi and A Bei, so i just walked over and pinched Ping. Gosh, it was the first time she wore that kind of shorts. Pretty > 3 < . Haha . I can't help it =) Then she told me that Edward was here. Upon hearing that, my whole head was

19 . Today's raya, not much of fun. I haven't visit padang, i wonder if Pacak's there already.XD 20 . My Erhu sounded awful. The sound is so terrifying that it could even scare a banshee away. I need practice! Practice, and Practice. :) 21 . I phoned Don today about the Harddisk thing, and I overheard this : " Who are you talking to again har?" ==lll 22 . Owh, wth. My brother hit me, ok, slap, my arm. Just because i was trying to stop him from playing with my fb account. Pity my arm > < 23 . I didn't think about him for even once today. :) Wish me luck.

14 . Right, I am back to my blog,again. Couldn't seem to leave it there untouched . Anyway, i just started some of the PAGES of Sejarah , focus : Pages XD . Dad didn't want me to watch Baker King, Fine~I went into my room, so as to shut the noise out. 15 . I phoned my Erhu Teacher regarding a piano on sale. Guess what? I had totally forgot about his voice, it seem so old. > _ & lt ; lll . Sorry about it, i get use to it after my PMR . 16 . Ok , i didn't think that my mood yesterday affected me so much today. I didn't have to mood to even sms with Don, wth . I hate the feeling when it's empty. The old thing keep coming back. Even chatting with Don yesterday in FB , right, I ended up telling him he ruined my mood. After i do typed it and click sent, i regretted and it was sorry all over again and again. I told Don about that guy, i didn't mention his name,i couldn't see myself telling him and I don't think it's necessary at all

10 . Attended the Seminar in USM. Not bad. 50 Bucks. And i just realise that my cousin sister and I are no longger like a cousin sister should be. Phew. I didn't think it influence me much, because i haven't been chatting with her for years, except saying words during chinese new year, or when we see each other and call each other for the sake of calling, she's still a few hours older than me anyway. 11 . I don't know why am i still thinking about things that i shouldn't be. It's almost 8 months, and still, whenever i couldn't sleep, he always comes into my mind, i didn't do it on purpose, it's natural. I force myself to think about Pacak, but it wasn't strong enough for my thought to diverge away from it. It's too deep i guess, maybe the aftermath of the old missing. Just hate it. 12 . Mum doesn't understand why am i glued to the phone for a long time. For heaven sake, we are certainly not having girls' talk. == 13 . I miss

6 . So, come to think of it, I think the competition might be cancel, but the seniors are going to have a meeting about the problem, so what am i supposed to do? Run away? I seem disconnected from the whole thing. 7 . My uncle uploaded a video of his new baby boy. Oh Yes! He's just so cute, a little of Pacak's figure, how to say, maybe he will have pretty big eyes just like him when he's older? XD Hope so! But the problem is, he's a KL boy, so, it will always be a big change whenever i get to see him.T.T 8 . WP was SAD THAT I DIDN'T JOT DOWN THAT HILARIOUS MOMENT ABOUT PACAK. So,as the thanks giving, here goes : Pacak was at one end, and i was at one end, in the middle of the road, pushing and pulling each other, and I didn't want to wish him loudly, just internally. And for one moment i forgot about everything except WP pushing me and trying to keeo my balance. But i never expected what WP did. She shouted : " A****! Suzanne ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya

1 . Today is the first day of the Holiday and of course, The Raya Holidays. Though it's a saying way to relax, but it's the opposite. I have loads of test papers ahead of me and textbooks to read. I can't even watch Baker King though I did, with my dad counting the hours I do spent. 2 . Pacak . Oh yes. I did a bit of experimenting, and I find the result to be satisfying. Doing some eye-contact with Pacak is fun. At first, i thought i was the only one crazy about him not flinching away and imagining him looking at me. BUT IT SEEMS THAT HE WAS :) 3. I am now currently the second owner of my brother's netbook . I can do whatever I want as long as I follow the rule : CHARGE IT WHILE USING. So, in return, I gave him a cloth to wipe his net book to clean it from finger prints. 4. I got a new baby cousin, BOY. XD But he looks abit like a girl. I don't really know what's going to be his name, but i hope it's not going to be Champagne . ^^~ 5. Noth

  I don't really know if I am still me. ( If you read my last post, you might be able to grab why am I in depression.) Today is still the same as ever, maybe a little winded up. The thing is I really feel like giving up. In the morning, everything seems ok, I was a little down after not seeing Pacak at the assembly. Suddenly, the whole debate thing dawn on me. I don't really know why should I enter JingBian, the old reason doesn't seem convincing. Fed up by another fact that I was going , but with no real intention. To make the day duller, my Internet and Phone couldn't be access, the reason : My dad wasn't in time to make the payment. So I was totally cut off from any social network and my blog. I couldn't even make out coming calls to Don or even the seniors and the girl from ChungLing to discuss about the debate preparation. So, I had to be content that I have tuition and homework to let me pour over. And, for the last one hour, I had been texting, all

I don't really know what's wrong with me. From the time I put down the phone for the second time after talking to Don, I wasn't in a good mood. I felt like crying. I went into my room for the second time to wait for my tears to flow, but nothing. I just can't seem to figure out what was the real reason that wanted to take part in JingBian . I thought about : It's time for a bigger challenge in my Debate courier, this was part of it. I thought about the the Form 3 debaters, only left with 3 little kittens, and next year we are going to be the second after the Form 5s who are going to lead such a huge bunch of lower secondary debaters. But, something was pulling me back. The competition. It's not that I am afraid of other debaters, but the real problem is who am I cooperating with. I know that couldn't be help. Plus, Angkor Wat's going, and that doesn't make a difference either, even the person who is most likely to talk to me wouldn't be going any

Well, today was a total mess. I don't really know how to say. First, I do lost my Maths Paper 2 ,I don't know where did I put it, but i remember it was on my table before BM or maybe before going back, but still i didn't find it. Secondly, Pacak was absent. What the hell is he thinking?!! The mess up part was up to there i guess. But there's one thing to be slightly happy about, i finally got back my 90 for English, OH YEAY~~I had been so worried as I did badly in my section C as the sacrifice thing wasn't quite suitable in the Dr.Jekyll. So for the time being, I had 7A's in hand, unfortunately i had to be very patient with Isunas for his marking. (Fine, i forgive you in the fasting month =~= WTH!!! SABAR??!!!! ) Extra Jot : I notice that Don's hair was weird today, it was darker @@??! And, he didn't even see me in 3A9 ==

Today is Sunny, and HOT, my cheeks were forced to flush yet again, not to say that I felt the heat of my own radiating, my heart kept thumping through out the whole school session, and after the last session when I finally step out of the class, and for the first time, without waiting to look out for Pacak, I was glad that I SURVIVE today. :) My Geography and History results, unexpectedly turned out to be Quite OK, though I am not satisfied about it. I was surprise when Miss Ng said " hmm.OK" to me. XD. Isunas couldn't give out the BM results and I was starting to worry again about what he said about the way to write pengajaran. There's a difference there. > _ <. About English, well, wish me luck tomorrow. T.T Extra Jot : I found out where is Pacak's hide-out for Ponteng. I can't help not following him and caught him together with Nazril today. Anyway, I never wanted you to see my searching eyes. > - <

It's 10.25, and I can't rest my mind, with that SMS that I recieved, I am going crazy. Why using my nickname given by somebody and letting me know that it's not you? And what help do you need from me? Shit! And the number, 011-********, whose? URGH!!!!!!!! Stupid message, you really ruin my night!

2 nd August 2011 The Rahmadan Holidays are over; I was back to school today. The first treat in the morning was having a face-to-face walk with Pacak . He was on the other corridor and I was walking form the other. I did give a second thought to it as I reached the school at 7.15am. That was normally the time he would arrive at school. So when a brown Advanza with a boy wearing a Bomba uniform greeted me, I was definitely smiling the whole day. Fish is back in order, her fringe was pin-up, and so I guess I will have to wait till tomorrow then. 3 rd August 2011 Like yesterday, I was lucky again. This time the distance was closer, so I can very well see him clearly. His hair looked weird. @@! The only thing that I hated was he wasn't in time for the assembly, like always, but he made it in the end. During English, Fish call me to hurry so that I won't miss him at the field, as a result, I forgot to bring my books along for the class, so I h

The countdown gadget on my desktop is showing "5 DAYS until TRIAL", I couldn't seem to ignore it. The red words on it will always tick me off to my room and make me slap my textbook and shake my head. Please, it's not just shaking, It's my act of trying to get those drama things out of my head before I read.( As outside the room, there are a few guys there watching Drama though they keep asking me to anti - it.) Choir session ended. Not much of staying back anymore. I will miss it. But the Choir Gathering, I was totally dissapointed that it only ended up with the few of us. But, at least LongBan brought Joker there. Nice Game though . " Miss...! Faster!" AHAHA! Night Class has ended for July, so I won't be able to carry out my "peaking" for the time being. T.T. And Hari Sukan, Gosh, I MISS THAT DAY SO MUCH! I don't really have to write it all here, just ask some of my classmates, they will tell you what sort of hystericalness I ended u