Gloomy Thought T.T

I don't really know what's wrong with me. From the time I put down the phone for the second time after talking to Don, I wasn't in a good mood. I felt like crying. I went into my room for the second time to wait for my tears to flow, but nothing. I just can't seem to figure out what was the real reason that wanted to take part in JingBian. I thought about : It's time for a bigger challenge in my Debate courier, this was part of it. I thought about the the Form 3 debaters, only left with 3 little kittens, and next year we are going to be the second after the Form 5s who are going to lead such a huge bunch of lower secondary debaters. But, something was pulling me back. The competition. It's not that I am afraid of other debaters, but the real problem is who am I cooperating with. I know that couldn't be help. Plus, Angkor Wat's going, and that doesn't make a difference either, even the person who is most likely to talk to me wouldn't be going anymore. So I do be acting like a stupid person over there, maybe the only person who is ever going to HAVE TO TALK to Miss Yeoh if she made it there.

Fine, I can face her for a few days and even if nobody was ever going to talk to me, and might even talk behind my back as they are one gang. But I can't do that when the competition is going on, the seniors would kill me, but that's what I THINK I AM GOING TO END UP LIKE. No talking below and above the stage. I couldn't even picture myself saying a HI or like telling one of them how to rebut. I am going, still I think I should not go, but I wish I had the HAPPY Feeling and the eagerness to go there, and of course a friend who can make me happy over there, though I know that would be ridiculous.


I had even started to think if I made a wrong choice in taking up Debate.T.T

Comments

  1. WanPeiAugust 21, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    angkor wat is?

    so nobody of ur fren is going?

    ReplyDelete
  2. SuzanneAugust 22, 2011 at 4:00 AM

    yea..kind of.

    angkor wat is the person who sat right beside the next table in sc lab during BC period. Don't type the name if u noe.

    ReplyDelete

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