.The Reverse

家前面的老树，前几年早就 不成树形 了。爸年头问过我要不要砍。 我说不要。 即使只剩下树枝，那棵树有个特别的部分。我喜欢那凄凉的部分。不是因为枯叶随风而飘，是因为它有个空心的部分，也不至于叫空心， 像一大堆疤痕堆 在一起的疤痕那样。 那堆疤痕，不是一个随便的疤痕，它的形状像是一颗心。 皱巴巴 的痕迹（白蚂蚁的杰作）更是添加了那被人遗忘的感觉。永远灭不掉的的疤痕，就好象以前的他所留下的。 可后来旁边的草，我也不知那是什么草，只知道是攀升植物。巧合的是，叶子也是心形的。悄悄的攀上，靠到了里边。久了，叶子也多了，里边的那堆疤痕快看不见了，剩下外形而已。 我想，另一个人成功了。 我还是深信里头的原理吧。     后所见。忆。纯属随笔。 有点后悔没拍起来。                                                                           

Jots : 1. Mistaken our new Pengetua as a School Labourer. 2. Stood for one period listening to a teacher's speech in class. 3. I forgot all about Pacak. I couldn't recognize him at all. Gotta Reconduct. 4. Finding teachers the whole day. So, Che2 was almost annoyed by me. and Miss Ng. Thank God she's Samsudin. 5. RUdui. XD 6. Fish admitted : " My 'Mother'..." Gosh. > < 7. Told him and my friends about the dream. I cancelled out one finer point. That's abit unsuitable. 8. We ended up in circles today in the staff room. XD 9. First time I shouted your name and said goodbye. 10. I laughed alot today. Good Day ^^ PS : Kelwin, tell her if you want, Don't tell if you accept the way she is. Be prepare for any coming storm. Be smart if she dumps you. :) I only give opinions, and they are not really effective. But still, follow your heart. They will be lucky to have you anyway. =D

Yesterday morning, I woke up with that bizarre dream of my PMR results. Damn. I was back from Penang yesterday. I got sick and vomited in the car. Before that, we had to stop by at Tesco; the bridge was having a massive traffic jam. My dad and Nixon went to shop while I sat with mum for about 1 and a half hour. I really hate that stomach aching sensation. Ever since I had taken that pink pill in February, I had that problem almost every week. Even my classmate now spared a Feng Sha Wan for me whenever I need it. That doctor did say that I might have gastric because of that pill, but I don’t want to believe it. When I got home, I texted him that I had reach home and went to sleep. I dreamt of him again. I couldn’t believe that I could dream every night and two of them were him. So, I will just jot down a few points in the dream: 1. Same neighbour hood. 2. White gates. 3. Edie == Spoiler. 4. Walked home together. 5. Twitching Fingers @@?!

I am currently in Penang . Dad had made the decision that he wanted to bring us to 白衣堂 to pray.( i think so).I went in and say the prayers with them for about 15 minutes, squatting there. Then , we ate the vegetarian food prepared by them. We then continue to my Grandmother's house, I am really annoyed by that dog,Amy ( XDXD ), he's really sensitive to red, and it so happen that i wore red.==. My dad's the worst, he kept bothering that dog with that stick. That dog was showing it's teeth, and it's a bitch .> &lt; Then, we went to buy that Tau Sa Pia by Shun Heang . That old lady, with a face that never change (ever since my dad knows her), she only gave us 5 tongs even though my dad had ordered 10. Well, it's her habit . Then, lunch. One thing that i am really grateful for is that i am not staying in Penang . Why? I do become a pig by now if i had stayed there. I ate Char Koay Teow , Curry Mee , Koay Teow Theng ...and some sort of Kuih .Don't wo...

I do been listening to this song the whole day when it was 23 rd of October. It just ease my frustration. I love IU's voice, I love the melody, I love the feeling, I love the lyrics. It just let me get rid of that moment, to think properly of the situation that I am in. The tempo might be abit slow, It won't suit those that like rap songs or what, well. I just really love it. It made me cry anyway . J - -- ENGLISH -- If I turn My back like this If I Disappear like this I wouldn't come into bloom If I just look at you Like this It might be alright if I live without eyes Without looking, I see you Without listening, I hear you I'm being relieved by your breathing Just like a windflower I wish to reach you, but I can't I wish to embrace you but I couldn't Your fingertips have reached my heart Will you know after a long, long night? That our love is smilling in tears I wish to catch you, but I can't I wish to reach...

I went back to my Primary school. (After 3 Years) Today's Children's Day. ^^. First, I had to register myself at the Guardhouse, just like what I dreamt last time, but no pen's problem, just what to write, I Wrote my Chinese name(It should be in English), and I wrote my address Wrongly. ==ll, to think that I didn't even write it wrongly in any of my exams. Then, WP and I started with the canteen, the Computer room, I miss the shoe rack. Then went to the place where we used to have " Tiao Yuan ." The sand wasn't err…fertile? But the plank is still there. The students there had gathered at the hall, they have 十大守则.WOW; it's longer than Code of Conduct. Then we visited the toilet, right, it's indeed better then our school now, at least the button -flush work:@. We ran into my form teacher, Miss Teh. She's so skinny, worst than WP, but at least her taste for dresses has indeed improved. A LOT. Then, I accompanied WP to take the video of her cute c...

I woke up late, I do been dreaming about him again. I forgot what it is about. Mum had asked me if I had dreamt of falling off staircase or Taufu again. Right, she's the cause of all this mess, partly. Breakfast, mum asked if I wanted so much to be in a relationship ==. I just kept quiet. After sweeping, I texted him, just to make sure he was back to his old self. Apparently he wasn't, and the messages, it's not him. Maybe he didn't get what I meant yesterday. Concentrated to Diluted. I had to use food analogy to explain. It sounds like joking, but I know he won't stand any nonsense from me. So, maybe my temper did flare up a little, but I was sure it wasn't as bad as him, I tried to control everything. The messages I type doesn't have to be like this if he wasn't in this mood.My fault. I admit. Can I say it hurts? It does then, but I can't do anything with it, I can't tell him, because if I do ,that won't be fair. It's not even up to p...

I feel so bad after what just happen. I don't know. I think I just broke him into pieces. I don't know what to think or do right now, came running here . I can't visualise what he would be like right now. I just felt really disgusting, I made him feel like this again. He's hating me. I know it. Mum came in to my room, and i was in the middle of holding my Erhu and Texting him at the same time. She wanted to see what i was typing. So i don't think i could keep it any longer, so i just told her. I admitted that i like him back too, i told her what was my answer to him. She doesn't know that we are now in it.(Sort of), and she just say that she doesn't want me to start now. Reasons, i don;t think i will list it here. I don't know. I feel like i am back to 27th DEC again.

Just wanna write this before I start : 1. It's Dead without a Beep. 2. It's meaningless without words. 3. It's empty without you. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ His phone was out of Battery, so My phone is totally useless. WP and Ping had Texted me, luckily. :). I spent my day In my room, turning on the radio. There's going to be a choir practice this Sunday, and I might be staying extra 1 hour. I don't realy feel good about staying to be with him. Of course, I want to, but I wonder if it's right to do so. I really want to do it the right way. I want my parents to believe in me (Don't know why am I thinking About this...==), so that next time, i mean when the time comes, i could tell them without having to worry. I was thinking if he could understand. Edward wasn't a problem anymore, i think i had gotten over it. :), so now is really my Parents's Part that I have to solve. I accept it's rebellious, but ,Not really, if i want to. Th...

I came across a picture. Was it really the end? Am I hating that person ? or What? Tut.

Today was bored, I reread my brother's komsas. So, until I was logged into my blog and read about my friends post.... I could guess who was it through her words, though I should have known about it. At first, when I get to know that fact , just few moments ago, I was a little sad, because I was the last to know. But, I got my mind set right, I shouldn't be fidgeting about it, it's completely unnesscary and childish if I acted that way, so I push that thought to the corner of my mind. I totally understand her about why she wanted to do this, because I am in her shoes too. So, I think I really need to make a statement here: TO :You-Know-It's-Meant-For-You Please don't misunderstand that I was angry, I might be abit moody, but I am definitely ok even though I just got to know it recently. Maybe it's because we had been friends since ages that i thought that we should share everything together, but now I think what you did is right and i don't blame you. Sorry i...

Today is the day she left us. It's not even her birthday. > < We went and asked for her address, and she had patted me and said :"take care:" Biology ended, and WP, WH, Wenzy, Ween, YJ went to Kamar Syura to change into our attire for the Sambutan. The picture taken wasn't bright enough. We waited for her at the Canteen. Fish was getting ready for her Violin. 他傻了,as usual was there asking if he could Mengorat (==). No Way. Ice-beauty passed by, and said that we were sweet, i think that's her highest rank of comment. The teacher, i don't know what's her name, said we looked like we are going to get married.-.-. Finally, she came, and we walked with her to the hall. Proud. XD It was really frustrating when somebody asked me to go and checked something, i didn't have the chance to listen to her last speech.T.T But, at least we hugged her at the last moment after giving her the bouquet. The best part was when WP fianally asked her this : WP : " ...

Not much to write though, just random updates. 1. So, thanks to Muhiddin, my math and science will be in bahasa Malaysia next year, just for two reasons 1) we cannot sacrifice our national language for another language. 2) Unesco stated that using mother tongue enhance one’s learning. That’s great, Mongrel.== 5 subjects in total, wth. 2. Pacak wasn’t really easy to see these days; my class is now at Blok Gigih for the moment. Honestly, recess at 10.30 is really torturing. I will have to eat in class before recess next year. WP and Fish agree with it. 3. Vetagen called so many times and sent so many messages. But I didn’t reply any of it. So, when I couldn’t bear it, I just told him that I really want him to give up. Just hope he really mean it. 4. M.R kept bugging me, asking me to “belanja”. ==ll. He isn’t going to MRSM. I still remember he said he would go if the girl asked him to. So, maybe he didn’t get it and the girl didn’t ask him. So, next year I have to watch out. > < 5. ...

I got this in my mind since I read Pg 235 of Forever: As if you couldn't kiss after having Pizza. LOL!! Ok, maybe I was weird to have focus on that point. Forever was the best among the Trilogy, though there would be more Cole and Isabel in it. But it's funnier. Sam and Grace were just damn sweet and I just couldn't think what would ever separate them, but it's just a story. And, Rachel, gosh, of all the ridiculous things she could have thought of, she thinks Grace is Pregnant. ==! And guess what? Cole and Isabel together. J Maybe both of them would work out; one was Science-minded, and the other, Stubborn-minded. So 2 is better than 1. Again, I like Sam. Still the same dependable and sturdy guy that I like. Grace is just so lucky. Can't write much. I love it, and if you read it, you might agree with me. Jot: I AM SO NOT GIVING MY NUMBER TO HIM. NO NEGOTIATIONS.

Perhaps I should say I was in a bad mood. But I don't know what. I had been damn honest to him, and for the first time, I admitted about one particular thing. I am naughty. The first time I had a sort-of-urgent report to tell him, it made me feel wild-ish. When I said that I am not fine, I think I meant it. I thought that I would burst if I have to wait till Sunday. I started my Forever , 3 out of 4 of it. It sort of affected my mood, I changed the way I stabbed the keypad of my phone before I hit Send, what I typed, and how I typed. Speaking about reading, or I should say, stalking. Yeap, I STALKED, and that person's chronology of events made be feel abit unsecure about something. Nothing sentimental. It's all about results. And, I just thought of something nice. Coincidence. I thought about yesterday at school, I had forgotten all about it until just now. The way we always ended in circles at the school building where my class is located. Sometimes I feel like we were pla...

Though PMR had ended, I don't have the feelings I should be feeling. I mean, school was bored, really bored . Now that the divider of each class has been open for the afternoon session's exam, MJ could not be block from my view. I would always thought about what actually change, and then, what can I do? Just stupid of me. Don told me to put it down, but, what? I walked across him today, less than an inch, I tried to avoid him, I was wondering if I could stop him and just say sorry, but I don't know if I should redo it since I was the one who did it . And then, I was told by my friends that I had better not know about something, I didn't ask them to tell me, I won't, though I really want to know, but I guess I don't really have to bother about it for the moment, at least. Morning's assembly was quite awkward to me. First, that teacher in red robe today is really getting on my nerves. And then I saw him there. I was standing behind the last row; I always blen...

Ok. I regretted writing it out. I know it might trigger somebody. But I should not be lying too. I am just worried that he will think the other way round.T.T

I am Back. ^^. PMR ENDED!!! YEAY!!! I haven't taken the picture of my exercise books, will, very soon. (IGNORE BELOW) It felt quite nice during the exam, despite the stress, it's always nice to talk to someone every night before I sleep. I do have all the good luckS and good nightS. Love it. Though I am now breaking the rules again. But, I don't really know how to explain, sometimes I feel that I am not doing the right thing---at least at this kind of period, but I don't think I could help it. Ruffled by the thought of Edward and what kind of girl I am, I don't really have the guts to say I am SURE about it. I don't mean distrusting you, just that it's my problem. I learned never ever to give promises if nesscary, and now I really can't force myself to do so. I felt sorry that I couldn't say it, when he already promised me for over a dozen times, but I can't. Just feel really helpless about it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MJ. Well, I don't thi...

共你有过最美的邂逅 共你有过一些风雨忧愁 共你醉过痛过的最后 但我发觉想你不能没有 在你每次抱怨的眼眸 像我永远不懂给你温柔 别再诉说我俩早已分手 像你教我伤心依然未够 但你没带走梦里的所有 让你走为何让你看不透   但求你未淡忘往日旧情 我愿默然带着泪流 很想一生跟你走 就算天边海角多少改变 一生只有风中追究 不想孤单的逗留 但求你未淡忘往日旧情                 我愿默然带着泪流 很想一生跟你走 在我心中的你思海的你 今生不可不能没有         好像是第一首广东歌出现在这里～～@@！不过我本来就很很很喜欢这首歌。应该不会有人喜欢听的那种。哈哈！