.The Reverse

I am left with 10 days before Trial. I am dead for sure. Haven't revise alot of subjects, the killing Sejarah, Chemistry, Biology, Physics. I didn't even practice Accounts and Addmaths. Its just suicidal. Eventhough I shed tears in front of M.Gooi ( unexpectedly, because she "provoke"my weakest part in me), it never change a thing. What i wish was that I won't have to care so much of my result or worry that I won't be able to give acceptable reasons for my horrible grades. Let s say, since that slap when I was 7, i know I have to get good grades, uptill form 3 i do it for myself, though its harder to hide that you are doing it for your parents as you get older. In form 4, I loss it. Totally. I don't know why do I have to be good, yeah, for my future, don't have to worry about life. this that, carefree eternity, but thats not how I want to achieve it. Maybe its my fault that I hadn't been able to solve my dillema. Too late. I lack the will. And,