.The Reverse

I got cane again because i didn't drink enough H2O. I did try to finish it, but i seldom remember i have a bottle of water. Why don't you just let me be gone for good.

I have decided to get back to Blogger now that I am sort of -want-to-write-in-a-blog-person-for the moment. Busy school life , but gossips always made it better, especially those fat and juicy ones. I did try my best not to poke in around too much, just in case I am unwanted. I don't wan to offend anybody. Wee. XD. Jot : I always imagine myself being a ballerina, but that's just, blurry. Haha.

I realise I am losing a grip on myself. Emotional, the same old girl like last year. I know there's really nothing to worry about. Yet, I am. I am worried about my temper. I am worried about my daily life. ( I hate volcano eruptions in 251) I wanted to be alone with somebody. I needed somebody that understands me. I longed for somebody to really talk to me about everything. I am thinking about everything way too much. Over reactive. Angkor Wat the trigger didn't even change my mood as well, though he always would have. I just felt like ignoring and snapping. I felt left out. Like I lost somebody that I was very sure that we were almost related. Like I do suddenly loss faith in somebody who believed in me, loss your trust that you have on me.I snapped at Magnesium most of the time, and regretted about it after a second. Words came out just like that, without filtration. I was suppose to sleep at 11pm everyday, well, I am still here. I don't have complete control over

I don't know why, i kept arguing with my parents. Sometimes I really hate it. I admited whatever i could, all the wrongs and mistakes. I swear i did try my best to be a better member of the family, but all their comments were as if i was doing it unwillingly and just showing off. It;s what i get from them, and I don;t think i really have any reason to continue being the old Suzanne Yeoh of the house. I can no longer find any reason why i should try my best in this any more. They beat me up because of my crying face, but even if i were to say it was because of my braces that my mouth looked jutted out, what was the point? They would just treat it as an excuse. I am always giving excuse. Everything I did was mere acting. I did it without full commitment. Even trying to prepare a simple dinner of Maggi ended up with a fight, just because i used the wrong noodles. My explanation was ignored, unaccepted, and because it was unaccepted, I was being spanked and slapped. Yeah, It wasn'