15 days back to reality - campus life. Things have changed , a whole lot. It's not just the place where I have my lectures, nor the place where I am having my practical sessions, or is it my hostel location.
It's about the people around you that has changed. People seem to have keep moving, I have ,too, but it was a slower process for me. Of course I wasn't stupid to think that life could be so easy after I was being cast out of his life. All those dreams that i still have, the encounters etc. Owh, speaking of encounters, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE !! YES. YOU WANT A TOTAL RESET . I get that okay, that blatant face and ignorance has shown me enough. I will give you what you want --- being strangers. I GET IT.
The first few weeks, I was completely overwhelmed with remorse, and thinking it was all because of me that I had been the greatest cause. And the more I try to keep you in this ideal form, the more I find myself realizing I deserve better. Not a better person than you, but a better freedom. Knowing that it was just you, on the big part, who couldn't see pass, or even TRY to see pass such obstacles, I know, you need somebody else who would be able to show you that there's always a possibility, if you want it enough.
I felt better, stronger, the more I talk about it. People know, of course people wouldn't want to ask you, they would ask me. After all, I am the victim, the so call " unlucky girl who just fell into your trap". I wouldn't call it as a trap. I boarded your bus, I was just a ride. And, when i felt like I have at least repeated my side of story, more than 20 times at least, about how ridiculous I was, how I had been so un-thoughtful, how you had gave up, how I was stupid to have trusted you...I realized, you are having a good time, now of course, but you won't if you keep living like this. I hope you can get somebody who lives in your world of principles, your rules. And, I hope they stay.
Like they said, you meet people because they are there to teach you something. And, you did, you taught me how the first fall is still as sweet as always, and then you thought me that people can change, you thought me how people like you can be this simple-minded. I learn that I was too proud, too childish, to think I could be, to think that you will be there. Owh, of course, I was blinded. I trusted you, i really did. And now, i still do, I Trust that you will figure it out why people can never understand you the way you wanted them to.
This campus, every part of it are full of your traces, and I still live among them, of course, they won't affect you, because our memories were not vivid enough to be counted as a trace in your life. But, for me to survive, I have been painting them with people around me, covering your tracks so that the next time when i see it, it wouldn't hurt that much as a reminder. i don't escape from them, I am just so different from you in terms of this.
Anyway,
Don't worry, I will do the explaining, you just keep moving, like you always do.
Thanks for the short ride, it was awesome, but an accident happened.
It's about the people around you that has changed. People seem to have keep moving, I have ,too, but it was a slower process for me. Of course I wasn't stupid to think that life could be so easy after I was being cast out of his life. All those dreams that i still have, the encounters etc. Owh, speaking of encounters, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE !! YES. YOU WANT A TOTAL RESET . I get that okay, that blatant face and ignorance has shown me enough. I will give you what you want --- being strangers. I GET IT.
The first few weeks, I was completely overwhelmed with remorse, and thinking it was all because of me that I had been the greatest cause. And the more I try to keep you in this ideal form, the more I find myself realizing I deserve better. Not a better person than you, but a better freedom. Knowing that it was just you, on the big part, who couldn't see pass, or even TRY to see pass such obstacles, I know, you need somebody else who would be able to show you that there's always a possibility, if you want it enough.
I felt better, stronger, the more I talk about it. People know, of course people wouldn't want to ask you, they would ask me. After all, I am the victim, the so call " unlucky girl who just fell into your trap". I wouldn't call it as a trap. I boarded your bus, I was just a ride. And, when i felt like I have at least repeated my side of story, more than 20 times at least, about how ridiculous I was, how I had been so un-thoughtful, how you had gave up, how I was stupid to have trusted you...I realized, you are having a good time, now of course, but you won't if you keep living like this. I hope you can get somebody who lives in your world of principles, your rules. And, I hope they stay.
Like they said, you meet people because they are there to teach you something. And, you did, you taught me how the first fall is still as sweet as always, and then you thought me that people can change, you thought me how people like you can be this simple-minded. I learn that I was too proud, too childish, to think I could be, to think that you will be there. Owh, of course, I was blinded. I trusted you, i really did. And now, i still do, I Trust that you will figure it out why people can never understand you the way you wanted them to.
This campus, every part of it are full of your traces, and I still live among them, of course, they won't affect you, because our memories were not vivid enough to be counted as a trace in your life. But, for me to survive, I have been painting them with people around me, covering your tracks so that the next time when i see it, it wouldn't hurt that much as a reminder. i don't escape from them, I am just so different from you in terms of this.
Anyway,
Don't worry, I will do the explaining, you just keep moving, like you always do.
Thanks for the short ride, it was awesome, but an accident happened.
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