What have I learned ?
2 months, exactly since it changed .
So, what have I learned ? Much on letting people who hurt you continue their hurting, indirectly or not. While you feel it, as a reminder of how pathetic you could be because you think you could always live with the ideal form of that person the whole time, but then it was harder than you thought , hard to be just okay with it .
People who were unaware would ask about us, and I have to say there's no such thing as Us. The inevitable question of why came , and then I realised I already had a fix answer , fix opening to begin with. It always starts with, we both wanted different things , and that I couldn't be the person the other half wants , let alone need. So, he wants to end it , and I loss my right to fight for us .
People wouldn't believe that it could happen,believe me , I have been trying to for the past two months. Sometimes, people would just ask aren't you angry , or why do you keep blaming yourself . I mean, how could you just hate somebody just like that?matching their actions to yours , feeling frustrated. It's not that they are going to feel your frustrations and come back to you. The main thing is, how can you even be angry at somebody you loved before ?
Sometimes I feel bad because people keep on asking and they would only have my side of answer. I always try to keep it neutral,because people always tend to believe the girl's story first, and I am just not that person. It began with us , and so the story should be complete from both sides. Of course, I can only help myself, after all some people's principles have always been to keep it to themselves unless it's necessary to share .
I answer people's question not just solely for the sake of me, but because people who already know better would then need not have to continue to assume the wrong facts about us.
Yes, part of my life still sucks because you did this to me . But how long am I supposed to keep on living like this , it's not that you made it easier to break it off through text , during the time when I just got back home and finally thought I can have sometime to work things out between us after my professional exam. It's harder because The last time you made a promise , and the next time , it is invalid and I am supposed to take it that I have never known you in my life , nothing had happened , and I am expected to just let life move on like that. You could just pack everything about us and sweep it under the carpet because it was just 4 months to you , no big deal, shit happens in life . It's not just 4 months to me , it includes whatever I have planned and hope to achieve with you in it in the future that I envision. You took that away from me, and then I have to live with the consequences . Believe me, I know there's a possibility of us not working out , but you wanted it to didn't work out more than I did , so what's the point of me hoping ?
Everybody suffers , I am not the only one. But it shouldn't be hard for you , you destroyed this particular forever, but I am the one stucked in there.
So, what have I learned ? Much on letting people who hurt you continue their hurting, indirectly or not. While you feel it, as a reminder of how pathetic you could be because you think you could always live with the ideal form of that person the whole time, but then it was harder than you thought , hard to be just okay with it .
People who were unaware would ask about us, and I have to say there's no such thing as Us. The inevitable question of why came , and then I realised I already had a fix answer , fix opening to begin with. It always starts with, we both wanted different things , and that I couldn't be the person the other half wants , let alone need. So, he wants to end it , and I loss my right to fight for us .
People wouldn't believe that it could happen,believe me , I have been trying to for the past two months. Sometimes, people would just ask aren't you angry , or why do you keep blaming yourself . I mean, how could you just hate somebody just like that?matching their actions to yours , feeling frustrated. It's not that they are going to feel your frustrations and come back to you. The main thing is, how can you even be angry at somebody you loved before ?
Sometimes I feel bad because people keep on asking and they would only have my side of answer. I always try to keep it neutral,because people always tend to believe the girl's story first, and I am just not that person. It began with us , and so the story should be complete from both sides. Of course, I can only help myself, after all some people's principles have always been to keep it to themselves unless it's necessary to share .
I answer people's question not just solely for the sake of me, but because people who already know better would then need not have to continue to assume the wrong facts about us.
Yes, part of my life still sucks because you did this to me . But how long am I supposed to keep on living like this , it's not that you made it easier to break it off through text , during the time when I just got back home and finally thought I can have sometime to work things out between us after my professional exam. It's harder because The last time you made a promise , and the next time , it is invalid and I am supposed to take it that I have never known you in my life , nothing had happened , and I am expected to just let life move on like that. You could just pack everything about us and sweep it under the carpet because it was just 4 months to you , no big deal, shit happens in life . It's not just 4 months to me , it includes whatever I have planned and hope to achieve with you in it in the future that I envision. You took that away from me, and then I have to live with the consequences . Believe me, I know there's a possibility of us not working out , but you wanted it to didn't work out more than I did , so what's the point of me hoping ?
Everybody suffers , I am not the only one. But it shouldn't be hard for you , you destroyed this particular forever, but I am the one stucked in there.
Comments
Post a Comment