.The Reverse

Dear Ex-Best Friend, Hi. It’s been awhile. I would like to say that I miss you, but part of me know that you probably don’t care. Part of me still hopes that you do though. I would also like to say that I’m sorry. I wish things didn’t end the way they did between us. There wasn’t room in our hearts to forgive at that time, and now too much time has passed. It’s too late.  But now, I would like to say I’m sorry for a number of things. I’m sorry that you have to answer questions about how I’m doing to your family and our old friends. I’m sorry that I call someone new my best friend. I’m sorry that I made you responsible for a lot of my secrets. I’m sorry that I didn’t care more. I’m sorry that we aren’t making all the memories we thought we would. I’m sorry for never uploading those photos of us, and now it would just be weird. And I’m sorry that it is weird. Us not being friends is weird. With all the apologies, I also want to thank you. I want to thank you for letting me g...

Today is the 29th August 2015, and I am leaving for USM Health Campus at Kubang Kerian, Kelantan tomorrow. The registration day is on Independence day . So, This would probably be my last post before starting my uni life. First of all, it freaks me out. Or so to speak, it scares the hell out of me. Before getting the offer for USM, I was afraid that I wasn't given my preferred course. Now that I've got what I wanted, I am terrified of it. Honestly,I really hope this isn't one big mistake in my first leap into adulthood. I really want to make sure I really could do it. Becoming a Dentist , in many people's opinion, is that it's a guarantee of your future, and an optimum level of work stress. That maybe on the outside, but the hard work and commitment that you have to put up with is definitely not as easy as it seems. I have talked to a few of my seniors and they definitely did feel almost the same like me. I have been making a point of not really telling the worl...

I came back from the YES Conference 6.0 held by the one and only YES Alumni Malaysia in Taiping, Perak, It was a brilliant conference, even though it feels more of a camp sometimes. Still, it's worth it---meeting my YES ohana, meeting and making new friends, gaining and sharing experience. It was a 3 full days of awesomeness and memories. Day 1, 21st August 2015 It was all a rush when my friend Munis, who was supposed to get both of us to Butterworth Sentral by 1.15pm. I was having my shower when he called and said : change of plan, his uncle will be picking us up in a pick-up van. We arrived at Butterwoth Sentral on time( there were schools on Friday, i forgot ) despite the traffic. We redeemed our tickets and waited for Ash, who was supposed to join us. He was late, the bus was supposed to leave at 1.35pm, and Munis had to plead the bus driver to wait. It appeared that Ash was delayed for 30 minutes by the ferry.  We arrived at Kamunting Bus Station by 2.45pm, and...

Please read at your own risk as there may be some changes as the years keep rolling. :) It's been awhile right? Well, I have been busy with--papers, printer, computers ( I am using 3 computer devices, lol). All this just for the preparations before I finally start my varsity year. So, I will just write up about what are the pre-USM preparations for my brother and future juniors, just to feed my blog. Date of IPTA Offer 2015/2016 Announcement: 11th August 2015, 12.00 pm. Step 1: ACCEPT THE OFFER that you have in mind BEFORE the DEADLINE.  Remember to make sure that this will be what you will see after accepting the offer. It's Important.  Step 2: PRINT out your OFFER LETTER. Sometimes, IPTA will send you the offer letter by mail. But for my case which is USM Kubang Kerian, they have stated that they won't be mailing us, so we have to print it instead. Step 3: PRINT all the DOCUMENTS ATTACHED in your OFFER LETTER WEBPAGE. They usually include Buku Panduan...

The call in July from Chen Long came earlier than I thought. In Fact, it came the very next 2 days. This time, he wanted me to accompany him to Seberang Jaya for shopping. I mean,, no big deal, but I find the reason for his invitation funny. haha. The point was, i thought I would ignore it. Because, I didn't want to have to say no to him. But I had another round of counselling from mum, and i finally realize that my answer could be so simple. I realized my problem was i had always had the wrong concept that if you want to be with somebody, there's always a trial period, or in other words, a trial period at the start of every relationship or the getting- to- know- each- other phase. I was wrong . You see, if you want to be with somebody, that means, you have the  desire to make it last, for as long as it can, till the very last moment. There shouldn't be an excuse saying that you can always pick another one if one does not suit you. No, you've got to gamble and pla...

It's been a lazy and crazy week, since I am learning how to drive. But  Chen Long has bugged me twice, and now I am confused how should I react. LOL It's been too long expecting something to happen, and when it did, I panic. I have been asked to go out with him twice. The first was a failure because I had something going on, and the second one, I would love to go, as friends, i swear and of course , maybe to know him better. But mum had said if I go, it means I want to be with him. I personally don't think so. So, now I have a feeling that I wont be able to make my own decision when the time comes, whoever it is. I might like somebody, and because my parents said something, but I might get the wrong idea that i don't like somebody. And, this is going to be a big problem in the future. My parents have now given me the green light that I am now allowed to date guys if i wanted to. They hinted, which I have often find it hilarious. But, I doubt that leniency though. ...

I just decided to write it up here because i doubt anybody would come across this site as much as I do, haha.  Something unexpected ( kinda ) happened on the 17th of June 2015, but it was totally understandable. I was watching the 9pm Tiger Mum show on TV while scrolling my whatsapp, just for fun. And then I was checking one of my best friends chat history, so when a message came in, there was no notification. As i exit, I realized my name was leading the message that I have overlooked. But as soon as I understood the tone of the message ( I did not finish reading it ) , I knew this was a confession. One that I had fear would come while we were in each other's company so often before this, it made me panic during the Truth or Dare game we had . But it had ceased down to a quiet tone after that. My friends and I  had a discussion about it long before and I knew I should do something before I mislead or hurt somebody, after all he is a good guy. But we were all so busy wi...

So, My lovely juniors whom I trained in Form 1 had lost in the first round of their first National Debate Competition, and my senior had asked me to write something for them , so, i just wanted to keep it here, haha! 大人们， 我这位非常老的外人知道你们去了全国赛， 还第一轮就输了。用外卡进了， 也该逗逗其他对手多一点才过瘾啊。额，后面这句是废话。以下，也是更多废话，说来说去也是一样的东西嘛。 你们年纪还”轻轻“，我吃醋了！这么快，又早就可以参加全国赛了，我根本都没那个资格。机会是有的，就是没资格。不是教练没给机会，是自己过不了自己那一关。正在念这一篇的老哥哥应该知道我到底是怎么了，不过我觉得他不懂。这不是重点，重点是你们真的做到这一点了，不是那么轻易就能够做到的东西，那就是战胜了自己。 你们输了，比起以前的我，应该还更伤心吧。上次见你们的时候说你们输了，我忘了是哪个比赛了，一脸伤心巴巴的样子（我觉得没有这个形容词啊）以前我输了，除了一点点的心灰意冷，就是安心，太安心了。因为我怕还需要打多一场。这就是你们和我的分别。所以这一点，我就可以非常肯定，你们不是普通的变态，明白？不明白也给我明白。 我不是那种会说那种激励人的话，这任务交给这位念着的人，（虽然本来写这个是要激励你们的）。不过，还是要说，你们真的不错了，不是最好，但迟早也会是最好的。这位老哥哥刚跟我说辩论界很黑，不过因为有你们这样的一队，就算黑，也不暗。（请你们在这时候让这位老哥哥，喷饭一下，你们呢，去倒水给他喝吧) 加油啦！ 接下来的比赛，不管是什么，只要上场，尽了自己最好的，那我们也没什么好嫌弃了，对吗？希望有一天再见到你们的时候，你们都还是一样喜欢辩论。输了，也就算了，没输过，怎么能赢。太爱你们啦！！（老哥哥，去喷饭多一次，大人们，再去倒水给他）仅此！ 要是要骂我怎么写到将烂，那就WhatsApp我吧，哈哈！原因是我都没你们的号码。

I am gonna cut straight to the point that I am gonna vent my frustration,( and not anger) here because I am piss and I can't be piss at that person directly because she's my mother. She's my mother and me being at home makes it 10 times worst. I often wonder why I tend to be a better person outside rather than at home. I tend to be a better daughter to my host parents, a better friend to my circle of friends outside than my brother ( used to ). I didn't even have to act because it came naturally, and it was being appreciated adequately, even though sometimes, they don't. I don't feel pressured, and so I can do better and at ease without actually worrying that things would go wrong, and even if it were to go wrong, they don't squeal at you and bring out tons of other unrelated and related things to strike you,and you cannot mouth a word. ( just saying that even sometimes keeping quiet will make them think I am ignoring them, wth) One thing though, I hate ...

So, this time I am gonna write about the Dentistry  Interviews that I attended in May 2015. Basically, because i am bored, and well, I just wanted to write up for my own reference as well , and maybe anyone of you who came across. Latest Update  : Starting from 2017/2018 intake,   UM and USM will also be integrated into the UPU system. USM   Date of Announcement : 29th April 2015 ( Email)  Date of Interview :6th May 2015  Venue : USM Kubang Kerian, Kota Bharu, Kelantan  Note : You probably wanna find  out if there is any budget Inns around there before hand asap since             it's gonna be full if you do it during the last minute. This link here may be of help. There are 2 sessions 1. Wire Bending 2. Interview 1. Wire Bending in USM for 2015 is an Ohm Shape with 1cm dimensions. So, If USM is your first Interview for Dentistry, this is probably a good practice. They will show you...

I got a call from one of my good friend that she's rotting at home and needs some company and a movie. Well, it suits me, after that torturing Undang Talk for 6 damn long hours ( Well, finally I am taking it, right ?) Pitch Perfect 2 wasn't applicable because she had it reserved for another friend. too bad. But, we ended up agreeing to have a dose of  romantic shit,  Well, you know me. Do you ? Our Plan A was suppose to be 11am, heading to Alma, Jusco. But at 10,45 my dear friend called and the next second,  we were shooting straight for Gurney Drive, Penang. Suits me real fine. So, the movie we sought for was, tadaaa.... THE AGE OF ADALINE To be exact, Adaline Bowman, casting by Blake Lively. Honestly, I really think that at certain Angle, and some part in the movie, she does look alot like Taylor Swift .  Shoutout------> YEAH, I KNOW, SWIFTY JUST WON 8 AWARDS AT THE BMA !!! "No, Just Shake it off, I am Blake" Anyway, I would say i...

It was one evening, and I was running through some old album. I found this picture, of me. Riding the bike. I honestly don't remember a part of it. I remember the bike of course, because I did not like the colour. The dress, YUP, and even that pine tree behind me that is no longer around. Every time I looked at the young me, it occurred to me that sometimes you just need to try without knowing the direction, taking risk, and you will find your way. My dad say I was never brave enough to ride it, and he ended up installing extra wheels so that it became a "quatercycle"---- a tricycle, actually. I was so happy at it that I forgot to notice that one day, my dad had removed it, and you know what, I was on my way with the wind, with a few falls of course. I don't know where that bike is now, but it's nylon colour has always been a strong reminder that there's always a way for everything in this world.

You know, its been some time since I last updated about how I really am. I am not really sure how to explain what has gone over in me. Ever since I came back from the states, I have this little part in me that kept telling me that things happen for a reason. People come and go in your life, and you just have to accept the fact and be grateful for what you have. I have to say it . Dear friend, I do not know if you realised it or feel it. We have been so far apart that even time could tell how much we have change. and how I have actually move on. I remember you were one of the most important people of my life, but today I doubt that was even true in me, nor you anymore. I do not blame anything for this. its meant to be. I remember I cared so much about you that I cried because you were jealous at me, for wanting to screw things up with your relationship. In matter fact, I was kind of glad that somehow you got to feel what I felt at some point. And that person who eve...

I thought I would share my experience as a matriculation student in KMP 2014/2015.Some students have taken the liberty to call and asked me for my advice. I am honored and I hope you guys had made the best decision for yourself. 1.Why did I choose Matriculation Program Based on 2 reasons:   1.Financial Means        You can dream, but you must also be realistic. I would assume all Malaysian students would understand why. My family couldn't afford to pay for a private course, especially when I am aiming for Dentistry. My fee for the whole year for Science stream (Module 1) is RM550. I also have a stipend of RM250 every month.Which is quite reasonable , if you close an eye about the quality of the accommodation and facilities. The first week might be bad, after that, its practically fine. 2. Duration        It is only for a year. A-Levels takes 2 years, Form 6 takes 2 Years. Unless you're taking Foundation. I am not saying sho...

School Activities ? Lisa Hoffman from Germany. and I after a match. Pool Party Cullinary Ceramics                             PROM?  Suan, who used to stay in malaysia, Curling my hair Some Pictures                                                  I think the tree trunk looked better                                          Dinner at Axel's and my Corsage from my Host Fam, Real Roses.                                      AMERICAN STUFF ? American High School Classroom Yellow Bus Baseball Game  Rodeo NBA Basketball Ga...