The date for me to leave for KL and finally USA is nearing. To be honest, I am nervous. I got my Email from my host Family, a Hubbell Family in Saint Paul, Minnesota. They look really good, and there are a musical family. Consider it as a big family, since I only have 4 members, but Mine ,might be 7 members, if they all live together.
People are all starting a new chapter of their lives, like today, some of my friends are already starting college. Some are serving their National Service in all sorts of places, Some decided to take up part-time jobs. Unlike me, i am still here spending my day finishing up presentations and packing bit by bit. Sometimes, I really felt scare. Its funny because I know this is what I wanted, something that I had fought for, with lots of luck. By the time I come back, I wont be looking back at my old school life any more. I don't want to feel the guilt and sadness when I disappoint my parents, things I can't help being not good at.
I just wanted to start my new life, in a new way. So, this trip might be able to help me discover what I want my life to be. You know, I hope its happy, fun, and a growing up process. I still need to grow up a little. I still have no idea what I want to be. I just don;t know if choosing what I think I would like is going to help me. Dentist? Medic ? These are the major choices that all the parents hoped for us to choose. Then, would this be what I want, I can't picture myself becoming a lawyer, an accountant, or a buisness woman. But I know what I want is something that I can do research on. Do tests that won't have to endanger lives. Fun, Not expecting anything. That would be something to do with animals and healing humans. Diseases that are yet to be cured. I am certain it would be more of a Biology thing. But somehow, I have to face reality that being in Malaysia just made it a little bit impossible.
Guess I have to keep thinking
Best wishes in 2014.
People are all starting a new chapter of their lives, like today, some of my friends are already starting college. Some are serving their National Service in all sorts of places, Some decided to take up part-time jobs. Unlike me, i am still here spending my day finishing up presentations and packing bit by bit. Sometimes, I really felt scare. Its funny because I know this is what I wanted, something that I had fought for, with lots of luck. By the time I come back, I wont be looking back at my old school life any more. I don't want to feel the guilt and sadness when I disappoint my parents, things I can't help being not good at.
I just wanted to start my new life, in a new way. So, this trip might be able to help me discover what I want my life to be. You know, I hope its happy, fun, and a growing up process. I still need to grow up a little. I still have no idea what I want to be. I just don;t know if choosing what I think I would like is going to help me. Dentist? Medic ? These are the major choices that all the parents hoped for us to choose. Then, would this be what I want, I can't picture myself becoming a lawyer, an accountant, or a buisness woman. But I know what I want is something that I can do research on. Do tests that won't have to endanger lives. Fun, Not expecting anything. That would be something to do with animals and healing humans. Diseases that are yet to be cured. I am certain it would be more of a Biology thing. But somehow, I have to face reality that being in Malaysia just made it a little bit impossible.
Guess I have to keep thinking
Best wishes in 2014.
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