.The Reverse

It's the last day of 2012. I will have new statuses. Eldest. Seventeen. Critical Fifth Former. SPM. I have already pack up my old school bag which I believe I will only be using for a few days. Then I'm going to switch to a new shoulder sling bag. A Newberry. Of course, I won't be using it as a shoulder sling, my dad's going to make it hand carry. That's insane. He INSISTED. T.T What's for the coming year beside taking exams? Last year as a student, last year as a Badlishan, and last year as a Prefect. Last year having to go to school. Just Be Great. Everything. I will be seeing you everyday starting from tomorrow. I will be writing your name every single day. Please be Awesome. Please be Good to Me.  Wishing Everyone All the Best for the Year.  =D

HILARIOUS HILARIOUS JUST SIMPLY HILARIOUS. LEECH IS BACK. PACAK IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!  As if everything is just back in my hands.  PS :  My first sentence for Syib for today : " Cikgu, BULAT dah! " =D

Today wasn't even New Year's Eve, and way way past my Lunar Birthday. I assumed it was the late Christmas Present, and Today, was the day I felt truly relieved. I just felt Relieved. After ages. The Best 30 minutes. The Best Practice. The Best Sarcasm. The Good Talk. The Best Talk. For once, I felt really glad that things hadn't gone complicated after all, and turned out better than I thought. Just felt like hugging somebody. =D Thanks Hazard. HAHA!

I wonder if there would be any improvement over the mess that I have encounter by next week. I do not wish to continue ignoring.  

Today's Christmas. There wasn't anything special. It's just another holiday. I am again back from Wai Po's House. I guess this will be my last trip before the coming CNY. Anyway, Dad bought a new camera, sort of a present for Nixon. Dad gave up on Olympus and bought a Panasonic for about 300 bucks. # Something quite unlucky happened to my relative, which was quite devastating if money means quite a lot to you. I can't really tell here and I wasn't sure what was the big deal. Although I understand Hakka but the story seems weird. # I am extremely in love.Seriously, in love and in awe with my little cousin. Pi Wan. He's almost 1 year old. Christmas eve was the best when he kept smiling and chuckling. He's simply adorable. Mum told me I would have had a brother if not for some reason. He would be as old as Pi Wan. I was wondering if I had given up hope. I am hoping, but barely.  # Every night haunt me. Whispering of mine where nobody could hear. Especial...

First of all, It's sunny today. No doomsday after all. =D So, be grateful. My cousins went back to KL yesterday after staying here for a week. They have in fact helped a great deal in clearing our junk food and refrigerator, and I believed I have put on weight. I can feel the fat =D   Nixon got his PMR results on THE 19. 7A's 1B. The culprit was his mandarin. Mom and Dad couldn't believed it. They gave a bet on 5 to 6 A's. I sms-ed to 15888 around 10 to try out and see if he can get his results. I sms-ed for mine last year, but what came back was "Sorry…" . Damn, I thought it was bad. This year was different, as soon as I got the text it showed the results and I hooted out like an owl. I was the first to know his result. Then, now it's all out. Congratulations Nixon. Double E, EXCEED EXPECTATION!! Next year's my FREAKING YEAR, SPM. The Chinese is giving me headaches. It seems like I will be taking 11 subjects. Of course I don't like taking, b...

Damn bored. The big boys including my brother ( he's big anyway ) all had their own gadgets to mind with. I left the PC on the whole day for my aunt, she used it for news. So when she was gone, I scuttled back and fumbled with my Tumblr Themes for the first time =D  I really like the Icons. Heart. White Spots. SnowFlakes . Waiting for Christmas. = )

My cousins from KL are here. All Boys. All the big sizes but then it's better than nothing. I'm going to get fat again after dropping from 45.5 to 44.7. Sorry, my Body. =D # It was obviously so damn accurate after what I asked from God to make my choice. It was practically shown, and like what I had asked for as a sign,  by this week . So, should I carry on or what ?  P/S : Anyway, just so glad, it started with an aloha. Ice cracked. =) # I was imagining the past. Haha! It was my very first Joke with Hazard if I was correct.    Ice. I remembered it looked like a galaxy.   I was wondering how many first are there, but everything was so funny and childish, seeing the point that I was the main reason behind the laughter. Anyway, I have decided on another thing. Great. Act Free.

I really wonder what's wrong with the communication system, 2 people have been telling me some things, having think that IQ200 was my boyfriend.  Munis asked why wasn't I in KL with the debate team. He was wondering was it because of IQ200. Another was one of my senior that I got to know through debate from Padang Serai, he too asked me if IQ200 was my boyfriend. WTH. ==. Hell Kaiser started to chat with me, lately, and frequently. Come to think that he was lucky that we were asked to write down our contact number for CK last time. I got to know that he wanted my number, but I didn't give him and asked my friend not to give him. Somehow, he got it, and legally too. My relatives are coming tomorrow. Jot : Ayumi Hamasaki is just unique. Though I really like her Ballad . She's difficult to take a good picture, different angles shows different age. Sometimes just too old. My favorite side Look =D

I am once again back from Balik Pulau. Nothing special these few days, except for the fact that Campaign Boy is back. Right, he is extremely skinny, hates milk( imagine having to  spoon-feed  milk 3 times a day ), couldn't defecate. His favourite hobby is now walking throughout the house, screaming, and digging everything within reach with his super finger. Rolling emotions. Shit. Without Facebook in Penang, it wasn't that bad, it was suppose to be a distraction. Actually, I have plenty of time to think about being , me. Stupid and ridiculous imagination kept haunting my mind every night. I was so afraid of loosing what I have. I couldn't sleep till like hours in bed before I drifted. I wonder if what I said was right about the seasons , it's just so true that if I was the one who had been aware of this since months ago, why would it bother me so much. I wanted, badly, yet reluctantly at the same time, get out of the dwelling and hoping that something...

# It's so weird having to stop myself -.- # I really need to check on myself, haha, just realised that Sawano's name appeared somewhere before, no wonder it seems familiar, but then, thanks to Youtube, the recommendation this time was great. PS : LIVING JOHN's Car, the name. I wouldn't have believed if his face hadn't loomed out of it. HAHA!

One of the best things displayed in 14 Living Story. Heart. I AM FINALLY BACK FROM PONDOK UPEH. Finally. I went there last Saturday at about noon. This time, quite surprising, non of my little cousins came back, so no shouting, and dad was extremely happy of the peace in the house. I did the sweeping everyday which has always been my favourite thing to do over there, and as usual, dad would cook many-something, it's something, but to me it wasn't just something, so, I ended up in the kitchen for the whole afternoon everyday. Shredding the onions and garlic were the usual, preparing 30 to 40 prawns leaving their flesh, which I didn't even eat, the bayams, preparing enough plates of rice and enough pairs of  spoon and fork,washing after every meal. Mom went shopping with her sisters at Gurney together with my maternal grandmother. She bought a shirt for me, from SEED, red with the word  bonjour, a ribbon  and the  mustache....

I went out for the Life of PI yesterday. My dad said he wanted to watch, so I followed. My dad and brother complained of sea-sickness, haha! I was fine, and enjoyed the movie. That Tiger was frightening, Richard Parker XD Owh, and Meerkats, I didn't know the ratio of the size to human. I prompted dad for Twilight, I could watch for another 2 hours, but my family are anti-twilight. Wth. I started to get out my erhu. Mom and dad started questioning what happen to my practice. Well , my erhu teacher is busy with their Orchestra National Competition. CL too. XD The sound was terrible, for not taming it for months. It didn't rust, thank God. I had nothing to do this morning, and practised. I scrolled my list and found a really short song that had been there since last year. It was one of the songs featured in my friend's blog. So, I tried to played it with my erhu, I tried to find the correct pitch, it was G. I tried to find the score in the Internet but then there wasn't ...

I woke up at 10 though I wasn't suppose to. I slept at 2.00 reading another novel. Reading is Dreaming with Open Eyes.  It's been so long since  I read a "straight-sentences-way-of-writing" book, and it's even a Chinese romance story. Not much of romance in it, I don't know, more of laughter. I just finished it. I bought the book in January when I was at Taiwan. It's written by spyorange ( the way she addressed herself )  橘子 . Not bad, it made me thought of a person. # I am damn so lazy to do a thing, I played Insanaquarium, now that I trespassed it in my pen drive. The junk folder. Pity my fingers. There was once where there were so many fish that I let them get killed by the alien.

I just finished my add maths. Whatever, that question. -.- Confusing sequence though it isn't. Jot : 1. Called Hazard. It was rude since I asked him that kind of question, I am really sorry. No, It wasn't really me asking. Honestly. I really mean it that I won't ask him silly questions, never again. I was just unhappy that mum actually did stand  by the door to listen to what we had been talking. She did come in with a Knock, I didn't even say OK.Don't knock then. I wasn't doing anything bad, but then sometimes I just strayed of in a chat with my friends. She do think until the end of brink. That brink, and sure enough, her hint was clear. Whatever. I have my own conscience. Anyway, I owed him a thank you. THANK YOU, though this is "not sincere" sincerely, 2. I know it shouldn't have been this way after being truthful, Damn truthful, or even being truthful. I guess my mind whirls the wrong way, gets dirty, gets rocky, and then I trie...

1. I hope my plan goes well. 2. I know it was a joke, though it's hilarious, but I do better keep that thing out of my mind. 3. I do better get out of that well,     Forget the crown,     Leave the crown.     Be Brown. It's beautiful, but I have to let it Die. # I remembered one day where One Unexpected sentence came out from him, I thought it was for somebody and scolded myself  for being such an ass, but then it was the other way round. # I was near there. =)  

I didn't know that I would one day triggered a hatred of Hazard.  I mean he doesn't seem like one who would. It's not a really big case, just that I was really surprise that he told me he hated me for a moment. Yeah, A MOMENT. Anyway, no matter what, I shouldn't have use the same way I dealt with the BIG D thing on Hazard. It was how I have always dealt with it. I seriously Thanked God that he told me honestly, and Thank You for telling me. =) I don't really care if it's a joke or something, I just know I shouldn't do that anymore.

As usual, Saturday, dad wasn't going to work. So, dad asked me to go for a swim I didn't ignore. I should since I wasn't a person who really exercise, so, I woke up at 6.30 just for a swim. I decided to leave my phone behind, thinking I won't be needing it, but i was quite wrong. It so happened that remembered that my friend will be having a test, Undang, they say. So, I borrowed my dad's phone and typed a short message, but I realised I didn't have the number. I recalled that I used to call my friend with my dad's phone, so I proceeded to the call history but in vain. So I ended up punching up the number that I could remember, thinking if I got it right. In the end, I found out I had one wrong number. Whatever, that person who received must be feeling weird why would he have to go for the Undang test ? XD I finished 10 laps within a short time, faster than usual. The Carmen boy was sharing a lane with Lim Jet and I was wondering if he was mad at me or s...

I decided to use this template for the moment. Purple for the first time. I wasn't really good in tweaking blog skins, although my friend did send me her link of tutorial and pastel blog skins that were lovely enough, but the HTML codes made it a little difficult for me. Templates are easier as they are abit simple and the Layouts give less problem, sometimes none. it suited me for I wasn't really a pro in blog designing. I am currently left with 23 minutes, and will be logged out automatically. Once again, my dad exercise his right as a father for limiting my excess to the social world. I am actually al-right with it, as long as he does not squint at what I am doing and allow me to have free excess with my socialising rights. I wasn't really happy, I felt like snapping back when Dad insisted that I should discard off my backpack-like-school bag and take a hand-carry office bag. I am so against it, I know my shoulder is abit like, what you said a cloth hanger (thou...

Nixon is giving me headaches. REAL LOT OF HEADACHES. I mean he's already 15, FIFTEEN. Doesn't he know how to respect other people's PRIVACY? FOR GOD's SAKE!!! I am old enough to think rationally, about every actions, thoughts and the consequences. I don't need any additional love-stuff-lectures in this house, or rather for my SPM year , house-chores-lectures and socialising-lectures are enough to make me go sick. Don't make me sick of my young life, don't make me sick of you, just when I have just started to trust you as if you are like my big brother, like I have always hope for one, or  that you will one day be, although we aren't in terms of age. I want you to be my brother, although you always call me chang-ying-dan (fly eggs), although you always have to prepare meals for me, you are still like my brother. PLEASE DO CHANGE, BE MATURE AND RESPECTFUL, even if it's just for me. #Don't blame me if I blurt out your New York Girl.

I have finished Like the Flowing River by Paulo Coelho. I will have to return it in the end, but I really need reference sometimes, so I will just link it here, so as to maintain the copyrights of the author himself. 1. The Story of a Pencil 2. Excerpt of The Art of Withdrawal " We see the evil in others because we know the evil in ourselves. We never forgive those who wound us because we believe that we would never be forgiven. We say the painful truth to others because we want to hide it from ourselves. We show our strength, so that no one can see our frailty. That is why, whenever you judge your brother, be aware that it is you who is in the dock."          Okakura Kakuzo   3. Excerpt of Remaining Open to Love   A rose dreamed day and night about bees, but no been ever landed on her petals. The flower, however, continued to dream. During the long nights, she imagined a heaven full of bees, which  flew down to bestow fond kisses on...

My holidays are still quite boring. It doesn't have a routine. No plan. No schedule, no nothing. I was practically lying around on the floor or sofa. Sometimes, if I have the mood, I will only breeze through some school stuff. I borrowed 2 books from the Kulim Library.  Like The Flowing River by Paulo Coelho, one of my favourite, as usual. The other The Speech of Angels by Sharon Maas. It's quite new to me. I started the epilogue, and it didn't make me feel like putting in down just yet. The one by Paulo Coelho , this time was new in terms of what he is trying to share, it's all his thoughts and reflection, so the index is quite long as there are many stories. The beginning was extremely startling as he learned about being a writer in the 1960's A writer always wears glasses and never combs his hair. Some of them actually made it into my life dictionary, for example A writer has a duty and an obligation never to be understood by his ow...

Just wanted to write about yesterday. I am beginning to think that my brother is getting obsess about Declan, or rather CL. I actually went into his family at a food court. When stepping inside, I wasn't focus, as I wasn't in the mood to have dinner, I just saw specks of T-shirt everywhere. Then : " Jie! That's Chen Long right?! " Huh? " Jie! It's really him, how come you didn't notice.?"    Hey, my eyes are not only for him. -.- We chose a table behind them, and Nixon kept eyeing me if I was looking and CL, I wasn't. The fan was spinning straight at us and we switched to the table next to CL's family, he turned back and realise it was me but I just ignored. =P Nixon was practically "fidgeting".  Gosh, I was so frustrated that I asked him : " Are you crazy about him ? " Jot : Things turned out to be sort of simplified. Maybe I wasn't in time. I am in love with Ellie Goulding. Her lyrics seem to alwa...

My alarm rang at 6.30. Urgh. I actually forgot what I was supposed to do. I slept and thought about a while, and realised my first task would be swimming. OK, I admit I don't mind swimming, but definitely not in training form. I swam for 10 laps. It was tiring due to lack of stamina and of course, practice. =D I didn't see anybody that I  know, maybe some of the uncles that had known me when I was training at Fun World in Bukit Mertajam. One of them actually reminded me that I was in a non-parking zone area. ( Meaning why i kept stopping for a rest. -.- ) Later, we went to the market, and for the first time, introduced to BREADFRUIT. ( Bread -fruit ) @@! I was thinking of something like this actually.. and it turned out to be like this... Not really cute  XD and I ate it this way... But it is well known in this crispy form...haha. it's a snack actually. and i came across the scientific name...  Artocarpus altilis,  ...

My mode was at first happy. Just Simply. Happy. I realise that my brother trusted me. He told me that he like a girl in his school but gave up as his friend was a step ahead from him. Though I admit, I would have done exactly the same thing, but I am different. he's the guy. So, I just told him that in future, don't you dare give up just like that unless that girl is completely hopeless. I guess he just brought in the issue by asking me if i have ever like anybody. I have. Sorry to say that. He asked me to tell him, due to some reasons, i told him i like Pacak. Well, honestly, I do. I am still crazy about him though it was just seeing him through his facebook timeline. I just went out to the Padang today when I saw Pradip playing football, they were always one Gang, well, Not always, sometimes =) Jots : I was excited. I was determined to be oblivion. ( love this word ) I was asking myself to be grateful. I entrusted myself with a will where I would be the one who would leav...

10th NOV 2012 It was Saturday, and Dad was nagging at Mum whether or not to go to Wai Po's house. I don't mind actually, I had been missing the food so much. I miss my grandparents actually. There were just so... right, i just miss them. I was busy with the templates, but i just give up, there's something wrong, i couldn't upload the files at all. Urgh. Forget it. At about noon, I on my Fb and chatted with Angkor Wad, I will just ignore the stupid names he gave me just because of the food I ate. and Lingesh came and asked me about RED album, he introduced me a song let bla3 never let you go. I can't remember, the name is too long. Thank God at least there was a message to deal with in the car, or I swear i could have thrown up in there. 11th NOV 2012 I woke up at about 8am. took breakfast, I was a little touch by the fact that Dad went to the market to buy Ma-Lai-Ko wherever we are in Balik Pulau. Thanks Dad. =) I started out by sweeping the front yard and...

To be frank, I had been absent for the last 3 days, but I went back to the school on the last day. Probably unnecessary  as mum would said, but I still think I should go. I went. Today's the celebration of my best friend's and JoJo's birthday. It was fun, I mean the whole plan. Haha. Forced-to-eat-cake was totally foolish. Luckily my braces is eligible to take it.I helped Miss Gooi to tidy up her room, together with WH. It was fun, though Dusty. Her rooms were full of unexpected things. Some of the oldies' certs, my slips, ( I can't believe it, 233/269, my first term exam in form 1. this is totally stupid, at least I got 15.) tea sets, calculators, Lizard. I was lucky, I did not scream, or else there would be one more thing Miss Gooi can keep in her mind and use it on me beside form Dogs. -.- I went back only at 2.00 like every Thursday. Jots： I was worried, but everything seems OK, the way she told me, just that there;s one more thing to think of. I can'...

It was almost midnight, and I was given a task to invite and talk to the monster. They did call him that anyway. I wonder why ? Aren't they almost the same, fair and square. 1+1 = Monster. I settled it within an hour, it shouldn't even be one hour. Indeed, a hard task. I settled it, they asked me to forced him, like i need to seduce him. Haha, I told Pei " apa you piqiaq dya pun boleh piqiaq". Sincerely, i thought he can link it by himself. Jots: This a a completely new record, Two and a half hours. I thought I had never been so rebellious. Ok, this is just so weird and funny.He do asked for my opinion. Honestly, I won't want to spoil everything. I don't want to be the bad girl, I don't want to ruin other people's hopes. I just don't think I can face the consequences if i give my answer. His problems were settled in the end anyway, just asked him to do what he wants. He brought up my problem. I was actually thinking about CL, what if that person...

Thanks to my friend, I didn't think it would be that easy. EASY AS EASY . (influenced by Lament =P) I learned something from my actions. It made me felt all grown up. At least, I grew up a bit. I know how to control my emotions and all. It wasn't really that scary, if not I would have second thoughts about it. Of course, I know that this is all a little bit foolish, haha. However, I felt better. Much much better.=) Work Hard for what you want to feel, what you want to live. It's in your hands. PS : Tomorrow's Konferansi Waris. Scare, yet unavoidable. My results sucks!

I am QUITE HAPPY Today. =) Hehe. Went for the monthly review, tightened my teeth, and I got back the Light Blue Colour. HoHo, Love it. Miss the colour. XD Jots from Yesterday : I didn't think I would one day be so stupid. I am, but I was glad that I was STUPID at that time, It Felt Great.  GREAT AS GREAT. I didn't know we would even laugh about it. LAUGHED HARD AT IT. I wasn't afraid. That was damn surprising. I didn't really expect it to be this way. I thought all those hateful words, harsh words would be delivered to my ears. That was really the BIGGEST JOKE that I think I ever share. Are you hurt that I told you what I was really thinking and planning to do? Maybe you were not lying, but I learned not to believe easily. I learned that LIES exist. Sorry =P I try to believe you. We made a deal. I agreed to it. You told me that we are equalise. Oh, because I said I don't believe you. You insisted that we each exchanged secrets. Threatened. I WILL THREATEN Y...

Thanks to Everything, I know what to do. It feels great, much much better to even hide it =) Love you all. PS : I don't think I will be able to make it in time, anyway.. To my dearest toothbrush, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! BE HAPPY AS HAPPY FOREVER!! Love you. Yours Sincerely, Toothpaste.

Becoming more and more foolish to even think about it. I can't help thinking that way. THAT WAY. OK, how much have I change? How much did he change? No, that doesn't matter, he doesn't matter. No, the problem should be me. ME. REALLY, WHAT AM I THINKING??!! Even Tumblr shows me my fate. I can't be that silly to even think about the possibility of it. I really should have the mind set. HE REALLY IS TOYING YOUR FEELINGS. Crap. Anyway, WALLS, invisible solid walls that I do build up within me for the last 1 month ? I can't just break it down as I please, it builds up as it please. To share it makes it worst. I don't want complicated things to mushroom. I don't need any misunderstandings within my friends, not even misinterpretation between him. Even those feelings that I shouldn't even have, not just any feelings, Argh.(Great, now I am back to that old girl again.) No, I should not be having it, currently. I know really well that this is  my weaknes...

I don't know what am I up to these days. These few weeks. I have been hiding all the time. Somebody knows what is really happening to me. I didn't really explain much to her.It's abit complicated, but she understands.So, i take it for granted that she's my adviser, asking me slow down, don't panic. There were so many predictions to make, but some didn't really turn out to be true. I wonder if i dwelled on it too much. I have tried my best to force myself out of that impossible dream, impossible outcome. It won't happen. but, what if it does? no way, just snap out of it. It doesn't belong to you.

I got cane again because i didn't drink enough H2O. I did try to finish it, but i seldom remember i have a bottle of water. Why don't you just let me be gone for good.

I have decided to get back to Blogger now that I am sort of -want-to-write-in-a-blog-person-for the moment. Busy school life , but gossips always made it better, especially those fat and juicy ones. I did try my best not to poke in around too much, just in case I am unwanted. I don't wan to offend anybody. Wee. XD. Jot : I always imagine myself being a ballerina, but that's just, blurry. Haha.

I realise I am losing a grip on myself. Emotional, the same old girl like last year. I know there's really nothing to worry about. Yet, I am. I am worried about my temper. I am worried about my daily life. ( I hate volcano eruptions in 251) I wanted to be alone with somebody. I needed somebody that understands me. I longed for somebody to really talk to me about everything. I am thinking about everything way too much. Over reactive. Angkor Wat the trigger didn't even change my mood as well, though he always would have. I just felt like ignoring and snapping. I felt left out. Like I lost somebody that I was very sure that we were almost related. Like I do suddenly loss faith in somebody who believed in me, loss your trust that you have on me.I snapped at Magnesium most of the time, and regretted about it after a second. Words came out just like that, without filtration. I was suppose to sleep at 11pm everyday, well, I am still here. I don't have complete contro...

I don't know why, i kept arguing with my parents. Sometimes I really hate it. I admited whatever i could, all the wrongs and mistakes. I swear i did try my best to be a better member of the family, but all their comments were as if i was doing it unwillingly and just showing off. It;s what i get from them, and I don;t think i really have any reason to continue being the old Suzanne Yeoh of the house. I can no longer find any reason why i should try my best in this any more. They beat me up because of my crying face, but even if i were to say it was because of my braces that my mouth looked jutted out, what was the point? They would just treat it as an excuse. I am always giving excuse. Everything I did was mere acting. I did it without full commitment. Even trying to prepare a simple dinner of Maggi ended up with a fight, just because i used the wrong noodles. My explanation was ignored, unaccepted, and because it was unaccepted, I was being spanked and slapped. Yeah, It wasn...

It's been a long time that i neglected my blog, from 4 life isn't easy, not as fun as in lower secondary. I dreaded for school everyday, but i could still keep up with the rhythm, as least i am trying. My May results are far from satisfying. It's sad that i actually only get 1 A+ for the whole test, I should at least get an additional 3, if only i were to do better. The holiday's were not really "fertile" , i spent 1 week in KL as a recorder and 3 days at school as a secretary. I didn't do much, and facebook and tumblr was nagging at me.I should have ignore but that's hard to do so. Effortless.The only thing a i gained were beautiful bruises on my left leg, they had turn from big swollen stripes to blue black to maroon. Lovely colour. :) Crescent Shape 〈3 Angkor Wat changed alot, at least this has got nothing to do with Black Heart, as she has DL to settle with, but Fish was behind all this. LOL, great jokes made him surre...

Oh My. Time flies. It;s already April, and May is coming. E.X.A.M.= = I can't find time to update my blog. Form 4 is really busy.All the homework and practices at school. Everyone is busy for HAC. The princess is coming. Syafinaz. I think so. Black Heart started to talk to me randomly. I don;t know what's she up to.Anyway, She has got herself hooked up with LKL, and she herself has an intense interest in her whoever-that-boy-is. I got to know too many people like Sunny in our class. Well, they ended up in cool war.Wth. Miss Gooi told me that Angkor Wat wasn't in a good state. Well, maybe. HE told me he was glad that their debate circle friends from Kl agreed to lent them the "Wai-Ka". I really hope he doesn't get lazy because of that. He;s crazy. Owh, BTW, I couldn't help but get sanguine whenever i thought of HAC Day 1, It's the Day ! ;) and I love KuKumiao and Monkey Girl day by Day. HEHEHE XDXD

Finished Chatting. People say that time changes things. It seems real. For 4 years, and today it,s the first time Angkor Wat talked to me about him being stress. Well, i won't take his word still, he's a strong guy. Anyway, today's chat made me realise that those old debate days(not really, just 2 months ago) had really changed my perception that sometimes when you hate a person, it comes to the fact that he or she is  way better than you because they do not care much. Being in the same class with him for almost 3 months has thought me that i have to find a way to stand up against him in the rightful way. I  have to learn how to follow up.He didn't do anything wrong, it was just that he's easy going made me wanted to compete with him, at least, he's one of the best.  And there's always Black Heart, I don't know, but i could feel that she isn't very happy that i could now actually talk to Angkor Wat normally. I used to hate him in the past,...

I went to check my teeth yesterday for the orthodontic treatment. The doctor said that i have to extract 4 teeth. I didn't expect it to be that many. I am really terrified by that thought, but what to do? == I saw Pacak today on my way to my house at my Taman. I didn't notice that  brown Advanza, but his face sort of loomed out and YES!!!! IT's REALLY HIM!!!! How i missed his face, though i just saw him 6 days ago. XD Ping told me where his house is, but never mind, i won't go tracking. PS : I don't know if my choice is right. but i really don;t want to suffer anymore. It's just scary.         Forgive me, coaches. T.T

I can't believe that i actually shuddered when Angkor Wat said that he wanted to ask somthing about debate. It was just the old question that i haven't answered my seniors. It was raining too i suppose, and that made me feel cold inside. A teacher called me and she sort of went into talking about my personal problem, but i promise her that i will think about it. I watch Forrest Gump yesterday. It was many years back since i last watched it. I can't believe that I still cried at the same old scene. the ending. And i just reliaze that one of the author in New York CSI was one of the actor who acted as Leftenan Dan. It's the same old concept, we are like feathers in the wind. God is powerful. I am going to find out about the show Big. It seems interesting to watch. I finished almost all my homework. Left with 2 kerja amals and my SEJ module. Owh no, i really am lazy to do it. That module is really not a must, yet that teacher set a vow.== Wish me luck. HoHo. Gonna X-ra...

Finally Back to my Lovely Blog. Exam for the first term just ended. So far, so bad. > <. I can't imagine the marks on my paper. Anyway, This blog might be getting neglected, as you know, I am now in form 4. So, there would be less updates, and just short memos.Choir had started, and I had alot to do during my holidays. @@~ Everything is fine, no more Pacak. T.T. I miss peeking at him XD.

1. HOME WOKS ARE ALMOST UP TO DATE, BUT THEY SEEM TO PILE UP. TUITIONS AND ACTIVITIES. I HAVE TOTALLY NEGLECTED MY ERHU. GOING TO START ON MARCH AGAIN. 2. CUT MY HAIR TODAY. I DIDN'T GO TO ALAN'S. I WILL WAIT TILL I WANT TO TRY BOY -CUT. JUST NORMAL HAIR CUT. EDGES AT THE END. FISH SAID THERE WAS NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE AND I AGREE. 3.MISS GOOI ASKED ME ABOUT HIM. WTH. @@ 4. BOTHERED BY DECISIONS I HAVE TO MAKE. I DON'T THINK I WANT IT. 5. ANGKOR WAD HAS BEEN BORROWING MY HOME WORKS FOR COPYING. I AM SO NOT OK WITH IT. LET HIM ASK FROM HIS PARTNER. GRR. IF NOT. GO DRINK SOYA. 6. A MONKEY APPEARED AT SCHOOL. I JUST HOPE THAT THERE'S MORE.

My trip to Taiwan was quite interesting actually. 10 degrees. <3 <3. Though its abit cold. I bought myself some accessories and a few shirts. Over there, I am Angkor Wad "assistant" when he trained. I have to make his wolf thing appear. haha. 6th Feb Reach Penang Airport. Dad couldn't recognize me. XD. Went for dinner and Told mum that I no longer have feelings for him. 7th Feb Received a message from him. He said he wants to "break up". I just replied ok. Back to school LOADS of homework. Choir practices and Account tuition.Money dividing and studies to catch up. 8th Feb Broke few records. Had lunch with Angkor Wad. Borrowed five ringgit from him. Sent out gifts together. Urgh. Pacak's no longer available. T.T 9th Feb My birthday. First birthday wish at 12am from WP. MUACKZ! Second from L. and 3rd from Fish at school. <3. Gift from Fish. Lovely =) LIKE IT! Abit disappointing that Edward did not...

Currently using my cousin sister's net book to type, I am using this opportunity before all those male cousins of mine start nosing in to the room for tetris battle. It was quite a fun new year this year, though i had to complete my homework. The stupid SEJ and Maths, wahaha!! COMPLETED. I got many ang paus this year, due to my birthday and also my trip to Taiwan, and my PMR results. I am trying to avoid people knowing I am going there, seems embarrass to tell them. > <. Taking ang pau was fun and funny, we lined up wishing grandma. Taking family pictures and my lovely cousin from NZ. By the way, I am allowed to colour my nails. Yeepy!! I finally saw my baby cousin from KL. Alright it's the best!!! He never stop laughing and screaming,   I told WP that he's practicing his vocal, A good soprano. HoHo. But he can be really nasty when he's angry and frustrated. He can play with handkerchiefs for almost 10 minutes.== There were no fire cr...

It's been a long time I haven't updated my blog. I had been REALLY REALLY BUSY. I will try to update the latest when i have access to internet. Happy CNY! Happy HOLIDAYS!! Owh...and Edward, Happy Birthday!=)

Owh, I just miss my old self. I am not being me. No appetite at home, dreading every time it's time for me to leave the school. Hate it when there's no tuition. Not smiling. No immune towards Pacak's presence at all, I need my friends to pinch me. I ate alot at school. I didn't care if I were to sit with a bunch of malays or alone in the canteen. I just want to forget everything that I am facing now.I cannot concentrate in class. Wish I could be sick or something. I didn't even care to out talk Angkor Wad, because that's how I communicate with him if i have to. I scared M today, WP and Xiu2. They noticed I was crying. During the assembly, my eyes were actually cloudy, I didn't want others to think i cried because of Pn.Foo's last speech. After assembly, WP said I was pale when i turned to look at Pacak.I walked in to my class, Angkor Wad sort of ask me why didn't I go yesterday. I just slammed my textbook and ignore him, though he cont...

Wow, I miss my blog. I miss everything here. I haven't been able to sleep well the last few days. Having stress, dad was extremely worried about my condition, because i kept crying, just cry. Cry before i slept, cry when i sleep, and cry again when i woke up. I talked about it to my teacher, but It didn't really help much. So, I told one of my seniors, and she said i should tell my coach. I was thinking how to tell, he would be mad because i am telling him, only now. But i didn't have to, because today,though we had a little competition, i had no full sets of questions and scripts, but the atmosphere seem to change a little, I wonder if my senior told my coach about me, Apparently she did, and my coach sort of brainwashed me, so I decided to try not to fret anymore. My tuition had started, chemistry, physics, maths, and Biology tomorrow. Chemistry was fun, but it was really really pack, I don;t know how many students are there actually, and we had to go there an hour earl...

This is it. Fish, It's this.

1st Jan 2012 MY first day of 2012 sucks. I got a message from him in the morning which made me worried so much . but there wasn't even an explanation after that. 2nd Jan 2012 I felt like vomiting when I thought of debate. I really can't stand it any more. > < 3rd Jan 2012 Back to school, finally. I was abit surprise when Pacak was called to recite the prayers, he was suppose to go to another school. Anyway, I wasn't in a really good mood whenever a pass by that place, it made me felt eerie, I used to have a point to pass by, now, I don't really want to, it's because I needed to. I was allocated to 4SC4, guess what, 7 out of 9 of 3A8 2011 Chinese are in the same class, except for Fang2 and Xiu2. M is now my classmate too. As for WP, we have been classmates for 10 years continuously. HoHo. Another treat was, My class is just next to Pacak's. No more staircase. XD, the only thing is, Angkor Wad is my classmate too, and I c...