House Chores and Bickers
I am gonna cut straight to the point that I am gonna vent my frustration,( and not anger) here because I am piss and I can't be piss at that person directly because she's my mother.
She's my mother and me being at home makes it 10 times worst. I often wonder why I tend to be a better person outside rather than at home. I tend to be a better daughter to my host parents, a better friend to my circle of friends outside than my brother ( used to ). I didn't even have to act because it came naturally, and it was being appreciated adequately, even though sometimes, they don't. I don't feel pressured, and so I can do better and at ease without actually worrying that things would go wrong, and even if it were to go wrong, they don't squeal at you and bring out tons of other unrelated and related things to strike you,and you cannot mouth a word. ( just saying that even sometimes keeping quiet will make them think I am ignoring them, wth)
One thing though, I hate routines. Everything is fix. Like sweeping the floor every morning, washing the plates (just to say i am perfectly fine with plates, doesn't mean i enjoy it, but not hate). I hate sweeping the floor the most of all things, why ? Because my definition of clean is different from my mother, as in when all i see is a speck of dust and she sees a mountain of debris. And, when I sweep she thinks I never put in 100% effort ( whatever it is ) to make sure it's clean when the whole problem was because to me it's clean and not clean to her. And, If i sweep the floor everyday, of course there would be less dirt, and she would comment that I did not go and clean every area and square inch of the house.
Just because I hate it doesn't mean I can't do it. Just because I can't do it as good as my mother doesn't mean that I did not try. Just because I am lazy doesn't mean I do it on purpose, and sometimes really, there's nothing to sweep, unless you do it deliberately.
I can keep my things in order better if I were to be staying in a hostel than at home, why ? Because The norm is the exact world that the teens are living in and to you that world is an alien planet. When our rooms are not tidy, fine, you ask me to clean it up but that clatter stays there because I am gonna move out in like 2 more months and it would be back to normal. Can't you just bear with that alien space for a while when i am trying so hard not to tell you that you're the one that is kinda the alien on Earth.
There are just too many unnecessary arguments, It's stupid because you just can't accept things the way they are now and you want us to accept and embrace things the way they were for you. I am not going back there, and I am trying my very best to be an alien and I am trying not to say things I don't want, and shouldn't say to my mother.
Damn it.
She's my mother and me being at home makes it 10 times worst. I often wonder why I tend to be a better person outside rather than at home. I tend to be a better daughter to my host parents, a better friend to my circle of friends outside than my brother ( used to ). I didn't even have to act because it came naturally, and it was being appreciated adequately, even though sometimes, they don't. I don't feel pressured, and so I can do better and at ease without actually worrying that things would go wrong, and even if it were to go wrong, they don't squeal at you and bring out tons of other unrelated and related things to strike you,and you cannot mouth a word. ( just saying that even sometimes keeping quiet will make them think I am ignoring them, wth)
One thing though, I hate routines. Everything is fix. Like sweeping the floor every morning, washing the plates (just to say i am perfectly fine with plates, doesn't mean i enjoy it, but not hate). I hate sweeping the floor the most of all things, why ? Because my definition of clean is different from my mother, as in when all i see is a speck of dust and she sees a mountain of debris. And, when I sweep she thinks I never put in 100% effort ( whatever it is ) to make sure it's clean when the whole problem was because to me it's clean and not clean to her. And, If i sweep the floor everyday, of course there would be less dirt, and she would comment that I did not go and clean every area and square inch of the house.
Just because I hate it doesn't mean I can't do it. Just because I can't do it as good as my mother doesn't mean that I did not try. Just because I am lazy doesn't mean I do it on purpose, and sometimes really, there's nothing to sweep, unless you do it deliberately.
I can keep my things in order better if I were to be staying in a hostel than at home, why ? Because The norm is the exact world that the teens are living in and to you that world is an alien planet. When our rooms are not tidy, fine, you ask me to clean it up but that clatter stays there because I am gonna move out in like 2 more months and it would be back to normal. Can't you just bear with that alien space for a while when i am trying so hard not to tell you that you're the one that is kinda the alien on Earth.
There are just too many unnecessary arguments, It's stupid because you just can't accept things the way they are now and you want us to accept and embrace things the way they were for you. I am not going back there, and I am trying my very best to be an alien and I am trying not to say things I don't want, and shouldn't say to my mother.
Damn it.
Comments
Post a Comment