Drafted With a Desire.

4 DEC 2010.

It wasn't the right mood at all. The stupor stayed with me all day even though I gained a victory. This victory had meant two things to me. First, I managed to get the first place by winning thrice in a row… Second, It means I have to end the "texting carrier" since I started it in mid-Nov. It was 9 in the morning, I felt gloomy although the sun was smilling to me. I have no attempt to smile, instead, I sighed and moaned. My stupor grew wilder when an unexpected phonecall came.

"xxx cannot attend the competition." I was like…."WHAT??!!!" One of my junior's sister had phoned me to inform about this, and so I have another reason for feeling down and worst than before.

Once reaching the venue, I grabed my phone and started texting him. I told him that today will be the last day where I can still text him freely without the risk of getting grounded by my parents. I tried to tell him that he can message me everday if he wants to or, I wont force him to. I was hinting him to email me if he was online on facebook. I have to at least get his message if I cannot see him.

Self-fullfilling. I tried my best not to show my bad mood in the competition. I tried to push him out of my mind before he started crawling in. I was to give a speech. Being love is happier than loving someone. One of the main point was loving someone is where you are bound to make the person you love happier than you are. But as what I am now, I wasn't the happier one. In fact, I was merely happy. I admit that I was happy of some of the moments, but not today. Today was a cursed.

Cursed. For goodness sake, cursed am I? Cursed to having to meet you last year?Cursed am I, having a reunion again? Cursed am I, for falling for you? Cursed am I , having known that this story won't last long, and yet plunging into it, trying to play my role? CURSED. And why should it be this word? I was sure that the word fate would be better, but not for long. I was confident that it was almost a cursed. By adding the word almost, I can at least bear in mind that there were still some happy moments.

14 years of age. ME. and going to be almost-15 next year. Holidays are no longer in my list of favourite things anymore. School days and companions had taken it's place. I wasn't sure if I will be able to miss him next year, but I will try. Distance will be a big problem next year, and of course, distractions of all "kinds".

Please…May God show me a way through the brambles.

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