Still The Same ~~~ I Missed Him

Utcut-ing....

I am very grateful to Xiu-2 who brought up this word. The best ever word to describe a feeling that i don't even know how to explain, a word that shows how desperate and frustrating i am, a word that reveals how much i miss him, a word that had convinced myself that i still have hope, a word that conceals the deepest emotion i ever hold in myself for him...

What a day it was, having to bear all those missing and frustrating. Missing was always my choice of word when it has to be about him, not even the word love made it to the list. I mean love is powerful, but missing is kind of mysterious, it holds some kind of charm, a kind off word that gives me hope.

Hope. I am always hopping, in fact, i never stop hoping. I was wondering why i needed hope so badly, could it be possible that one day, i will no longer need hope to carry on what is left behind by him for me? Even hoping for his messages had become a daily habit, even when it means i have to be grounded by my parents when i started to reach out for my phone. I believed in the word hope as i am sure it brings me hope, but will i be able to believe in it afterwards?

It was about 2 in the afternoon when i thought the message that arrived would be him, i was disappointed to find that it wasn't, instead, it turned out to be HKC, URGH!! I decided to carry on with my plan : Waste his credit by letting him text me for about 2-3 texts then only i will reply him back! I wasn;t trying to be funny when i stop texting him for hours because HKC was really annoying. By the time i was content enough to reply him, the words from me had turned out to be sharper than i thought. Hmmm....that might do him some good.

It's was hard , really hard when all my usual symptoms of missing appeared. Together with all those other emotions...i don't really know if i am myself anymore.

Symptoms of Missing Someone.

1. You are easily frustrated and depress.

2. You feel like snapping or shouting at everyone no matter what the issue is about.

3. Your appetites are all upside down.

4. You are often caught day-dreaming if there is anyone around you.

5. You try not to cry, but you cried at night.

6. Your emotions are easily affected by all sorts off things, especially things

that reminds you about him.

By 4.30, his message arrived, a relieved that i find it unstoppable. I left everything that i was doing at the moment and grab my phone without a moment's hesitation. I was surprised that i gave him a kissed through the phone without a thought. Gosh, i must have been so depressed that even a small message from him is able to drive me insane.

I guess that's all. I need to get back to my normal self. I don't think i will be able to control myself anymore if i keep typing.

Bye.